xxmadsenxx

Hahaha Evan just told me that I say Boston wrong. I spent the first 20 years of my life there, and I reminded him of that. His response was, "Well you'd think you would know how to say it right then." Lol.

It's because he says it "Bah-ston" like most people do, and people from Boston say it with a longer "O" sound than that. Not a full long vowel sound, but with more "O" than "ah." Like an "owh" or "awh" sound...I don't even know. I don't know how you'd spell it out. I only have a tiny hint of an accent left, but I know there are some words I say with a slight accent, and Evan ALWAYS notices and points it out. He mostly points out words with an "ah" sound in them. I have mentioned more than a few times that I don't like the Boston accent, and I never had a real thick one. But now it's almost entirely gone and I'm very happy about that. Getting rid of the accent was partially due to conscious effort, but most of it just kinda went away with time. I'm trying to think of the word Evan always points out. "All" is the one he has probably pointed out the most. He thinks I say "dog" funny. It sounds normal to me. Jenny said it doesn't sound very much different than the way she says it. She said the vowel is just a tiny bit different. But Evan thinks it's hilarious.

That little story is probably way more amusing to me than it is to any of you haha. I just thought it was funny that he told me I said it wrong, even though I'm from there and he's never been there.

One of these days I'm going to talk to him with the thickest Boston accent I can possibly muster all day long and see how he likes that.

Wow...my kid isn't a spoiled brat at all lol. (Total sarcasm there.) He borrowed my phone, went into notepad, and wrote what he called his "complete list" haha. If he thinks he's getting every single thing on this list...well, he's not lol. Here it is, copied and pasted:

 

Evan's Christmas list

 

Wii u
Crayola light up drawing thing
Crayola air brush thing
Hary Potter legos I don't have yet
Star Wars legos I don't have yet
That new Lego game
Pirate legos
Sled with brakes
Mario party 9 game
Pirate pajamas
How to train your dragon movie
Pokemon black 2 for DS
Lego hellicopter
Ninjago legos I don't have
Spungbob legos
Lego star wars wii game. Not clone wars cuz I have it but a different one
Lego batman Wii game
Super smash bros brawl Wii game
Epic Mickey 2 game
Diary of a wimpy kid book 7
Star wars angry birds stuffed animals
Vtek dinosaurs
Green chucks
Pirate chucks I desined from you cuz you said.
Kid camera
Power rangers megazord
Nerf gun

 

Ask Santa what he's getting me and what he's not getting me you and mom can.

 

Oh, can we? Lol. Thanks for your permission, Ev. He's a bit greedy. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to remember every specific Lego set he already has. It's going to take some detective work. Maybe Jenny will know. Kids, man...

It's fucking freezing. We have a foot of snow in our yard. Literally, 12". Fucking sucks. Evan LOVES it. I hate it. He's been outside playing in it all day. And guess who got to shovel it all? Me. Conveniently, the snowblower is out of gas, and I couldn't get out of the driveway to go get any without shoveling it. I am so over the snow already, and it's only November. Ugh.

On the plus side, all I have to do the rest of the day is sit around doing nothing. Oh, and eat a lot. For breakfast I had apple pie and pumpkin pie. Then later I had cake that's like, half cake and half cheesecake. All the weight I unintentionally lost should be back in no time at all at this rate haha. And we have a bunch of stuffed shells left over from Jenny's grandma's birthday party last night. Jenny's mom made them, so they're the same as the ones Jenny makes that are AMAZING. Now I want go to eat some. Hmmm...

Oh yeah, speaking of snow, according to Jenny I was mean to Ella haha. I wanted to show her snow, so I bundled her up and took her outside and stuck her hand in it. She hated it and cried. Smart girl. I knew she was a genius. She cried and pretty much yelled at me. Seriously...she's six and a half months old and she yelled at me. I got "DADA!!!!" mid-crying. I thought it was funny. Jenny thought it was sad. Evan said he was going to throw "a baby sized snowball" at Ella and I told him I'd whitewash him if he did. Jenny also said that was mean. I wouldn't really. I told him I was kidding, but that he'd better not. So he threw one at me instead.

No work tomorrow. Hell yes!

Things are still great with Jenny. She's doing so well. It's amazing how quickly she turned things around. She's trying really hard and it shows. I think she needed the Seroquel in addition to her other meds. Her psychiatrist said he doesn't think she'll need it forever, but wants her on it for at least the next six months. Now that she's a lot more stable we're going to start couple's therapy again. We need to be really diligent about it, just like she has to be with her own personal therapy. I have to say, I'm still a little afraid of getting married. Well, not afraid. Anxious. Today Jenny said, "I have so much planning and stuff to do! Our wedding is only four months and 12 days away!" I just thought, "Holy shit, that's soon." Instead I just kinda did the smile and nod thing and made some generalized comment like "Yeah, there's a lot to do" or something like that. It's going to be here before we know it. Crazy. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy to be marrying her. I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with anyone else. It just makes me a little nervous, and it's crazy that it's coming up so soon.

I really will catch up with you guys for real tonight.

Very short, random entry.

I mentioned Evan saying this before, but I really don't know where he got the term "chowda head" from ("chowder head" in a Boston accent). Seriously. He has been to Boston ONCE, when he was tiny. I don't say it. If I've said it, it has been maybe once. I never really used that term. It's stupid. It MUST be my from my brother, although I don't think he really says it either. He uses more Boston slang than I do though, and he has more of an accent than I do...but still not a strong one, thankfully. Today Evan was playing video games, and he kept calling the bad guys chowda heads. Lol. It was strange, but kind of amusing. I seriously have no idea where it came from. My brother? Sister? I HIGHLY doubt it was my mom, and I really doubt it was my sister. It MUST have been my brother. Strange. At least he's not swearing anymore, so there's that, haha. The last thing I need is "fucking chowda head" coming out of his mouth. I hope I didn't speak too soon. He hasn't used any words like that for a while. That kid, man...

Oh man, I am so fucking tired today. It was another long night. Not as long as the night before, but still really long. Ella kept both of us awake for a lot of the night. I REALLY hope this colic thing eases up soon. That, plus she needs to get better about sleeping in her crib. But it's mostly the colicky thing. It makes her scream all the time. Not cry...scream. For long periods of time. It's like clockwork, too. We can easily predict when it's going to happen. It's a routine. A really, really shitty routine.

It's nap time. Maybe. A power nap, anyway. If I take a long nap I'll be up all night, although I probably will be anyway. But it's definitely time for a power nap.

This entry is going to be completely pointless. I just feel like sitting around being lazy until we have to leave for the BBQ at Jenny's parents' house. It's Father's Day, so I can. I'm not moving until we have to go. I'm going to sit on my ass drinking my Diet Coke, writing about butt shaking.

I got smacked for Father's Day! Jokingly smacked, but still smacked! I get in these super hyper, obnoxious ADHD type moods sometimes (thank you, ADHD! Sometimes you're cool!), and I was in one a little while ago. So I decided it would be a good idea to do an impression of Beyonce. I was singing "Bootylicious" to Jenny and doing some stupid little dance. Then I decided to go dance on her and rub my butt against her for the sake of the song. I told her I didn't think she was ready for this jelly. She laughed at me and then told me that I have no ass, so I was singing the wrong song. I responded with, "That's ok, you have more than enough ass for the both of us," and got smacked lol. Just in the arm, jokingly. She pretended to be appalled and offended, but she wasn't. She knows I was kidding. Besides, I like big butts and I cannot lie. Jenny does have a big butt, but it's pretty amazing. I love it. She has a very nice ass. Aside from her face, it was actually the first thing I noticed about her when I first met her lol. So then I proceeded to rap "Baby Got Back" to her. She knows she loved it. It got even better though. Evan came in when I was singing/rapping/whatever you want to call it, and joined in. He yelled, "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!" Jenny and I busted out laughing lol. She asked "How do you know that song?!" He replied with, "How do you think?" and looked and motioned at me. Jenny just laughed and shook her head. Hahaha. Then Evan went "Shake it! Shake it! Shake that healthy butt! Baby got back" and did a little butt-shaking dance. Jenny laughed and said, "You're your father's son, alright." Damn right. I have taught him well. Then it got even better again. Evan said, "I think it's a good thing that Dad was singing that song to you, Mom. I've heard him say you have a nice ass." I fucking lost it laughing lol. Jenny just looked at me and said, "CHRISTOPHER!" Hahahahaha. I am highly amused today. Then she told me I'm lucky it's Father's Day. Haha.

I'll shut up now. We have to leave in like 15 or 20 minutes. I just felt like sharing my ass shaking adventures with you guys.

Hahahahaha. Evan just went outside and picked a bunch of flowers out of the yard and made a bouquet for Jenny. Normally she'd probably get mad at him for picking that many flowers, because she worked hard on her garden. But it was endearing. I got her a big bouquet of flowers and said it was from Evan and me on the card, but he wanted to get her his own. I told him I'd take him to go get some, but he said "No, it's ok," and went off and did his own thing, which meant picking a bunch of flowers from the garden. Hey, at least he picked our flowers and not the neighbors' flowers haha. It was a nice thought. He's a sweet kid. I thought it was pretty funny though, because he picked way more than just a few. I tried not to laugh when I saw what he had done. He brought the flowers in and asked me for some ribbon, so I got him some and he tied the bouquet together with a pink ribbon. Then he asked for a vase to put them in, but said he had to give them to her out of the vase with the ribbon first, because "it looks nice and pretty that way, and Mom likes pink girly things." He also chose a stuffed Minnie Mouse to get for Jenny while we were in Disneyland, so he gave that to her along with the flowers. Jenny loved both things, even if he did destroy part of her flower garden hahaha.

Ok, two Mother's Day updates are enough for one day. It's a nice change from the long, negative entry I posted last night though.

Once again, I hope all you moms out there have a really good Mother's Day!

Oh, I forgot to add this. Evan drew a picture for Jenny in Paint and printed it. It's pretty cute, so I thought I'd share it here. Not bad if I do say so myself...it's probably better than I could do lol. Especially the writing. It's hard to write in Paint without the text tool!

Evan’s birthday party was a success! It was fun. He’s obsessed with the Cars movies, and he wanted it to be a Cars themed pizza party. Jenny is so good with things like kids’ parties. She put together all kinds of games and fun prizes and things like that. They all had a lot of fun. I think he invited something like 10 kids. I didn’t actually count. Of course his little girlfriend was there. B and his girlfriend were there, of course, and his girlfriend brought her little niece over, who is about Evan’s age. So he made a new little friend. After the party B’s girlfriend said something like, “____(fill in her niece’s name here) is pretty cute, huh?” Evan replied with, “Yeah, she’s cool. But I already have a girlfriend.” Then she asked him if she was his only girlfriend, and Evan’s response was cute. He said, “Of course she’s my only girlfriend! You have to be faithful.” I guess I’ve taught him well, haha. They held hands a few times during the party. It was cute. He’s in kindergarten and is already all about girls…I’m going to have to keep my eye on him when he gets older haha. They’re pretty cute together though…as far as kindergarten couples go lol.

He was VERY excited about his iPod, and as soon as all the kids left he wanted to put music on it. Here’s what he has put on it so far. Not entire discographies of these artists or anything, but at least a few songs, and full albums of some of them. I screen it…he can’t listen to just ANYTHING he wants. So certain songs by some of these bands are not allowed.

Nirvana (his favorite band haha)
Justin Timberlake (Jenny’s influence shows there lol)
The Lion King soundtrack (he LOVES that movie)
Aladdin soundtrack
Some other Disney songs
The Beatles
The Doors
Queen (I know a few little kids who love Queen lol. It’s kinda funny.)
Sex Pistols -- “God Save the Queen” (He wants to listen to punk, since it’s my genre of choice, but most of it is NOT child appropriate lol. So he gets a few songs here and there.)
Rancid (a few songs)
NOFX (very few songs)
The Clash – Should I Stay or Should I Go
Adele
Bob Marley
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Men in Black theme songs haha.
Incubus
Jack Johnson
Led Zeppelin
Some top 40 shit I don’t really know. Including that “Dynamite” song from a year or so ago that he has loved since it came out.
Sublime

And that’s what the playlist of my six-year-old looks like haha.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention one cute/funny thing from his party. Evan had these little Cars birthday hats, and he attempted to put one on Jenny's belly "so that Ella could be a part of the birthday party." I thought that was pretty cute.

I love my little guy so much. I guess I won't be able to call him my "little guy" for that much longer. It kind of makes me sad. Six isn't that old, but it's still crazy to me.

Evan said "fuck" for the first time today. He was playing a video game and he said, "Fuuuccckkk! I died!" I know I shouldn't have laughed, but I couldn't help it. I busted out laughing. When I stopped I managed to say, "Evan, that's a REALLY bad word. Don't say it again." Then I started laughing again. Jenny heard him say it too...she was in the kitchen, but he kind of yelled it. Plus I swear, Jenny has radar ears. I think that must be a mom thing. She hears everything. So she yelled, "CHRISTOPHER!!! Get in the kitchen! RIGHT NOW!" I knew I was in trouble lol. She only calls me Christopher when she's mad at me. Kind of like how my mom used to call me by my full name--first, middle, and last--when she got really mad at me haha. It seems like a lot of moms do that. Jenny has actually done it to me a few times too lol. I got up from the couch and went into the kitchen, while trying to make myself stop laughing. The second I entered the room she started scolding me. I felt like a little kid whose mom was yelling at him about something lol. This is how that went:

Jenny: Chris! Stop laughing!
Me: I'm sorry, it's funny.
J: It is NOT funny. You're only encouraging him by laughing!
Me: I told him not to say it again.
J: While laughing.
Me: Sorry.
J: What happened to watching your mouth around him? You know he idolizes you and is going to repeat anything you say. He's five years old! He should NOT be saying that word!
Me: He's almost six. (I said that because sometimes I'm kind of a smart ass.)
J: Dammit, Christopher! (again with the Christopher thing lol. So I started laughing again.)
Me: How do you know he heard it from me?
J: Oh please. He said it EXACTLY the way you say it when you're playing video games.
Me: How do I say it? (I knew full well what she was talking about. I just wanted to hear her do it lol.)
J: Loud and dragged out. "Fuuuuuuuccckkk!" He sounded EXACTLY like you. (I busted out laughing again, partially because her impression was hilarious and partially because it's true...that's how I say it when I'm playing games, and that's exactly how Evan said it.)
Me: (I just started laughing again.)
J: Stop laughing! You need to fix this. You're the one he learned it from, so YOU need to make sure he knows that it's not ok. WITHOUT LAUGHING.
Me: (I jokingly made an over-exaggerated attempt to stop laughing and calm down, which Jenny rolled her eyes at lol.) Ok! I'm not laughing anymore. You killed it. (I said that jokingly, of course.)
J: (Jenny shot me a look.) I'm serious.
Me: Ok!

So then I went back into the room where Evan was and told him that I shouldn't have laughed when he said that, because saying that word isn't funny. I reiterated the fact that it was a really bad word that he's not supposed to say. I didn't notice until after I said that, but Jenny had followed me out of the kitchen and into the room Evan and I were in. She was standing at the edge of the room with her arms folded, making sure I did what she told me to do lol. After I talked to Evan his eyes went right back to being glued to the video game. Jenny was still standing there, so I shot her a "Hail Hitler" arm gesture (jokingly, obviously). Her response to that was "Chris! Grow up!" Then she went back into the kitchen where she was making brownies.

I don't want Evan saying that word, but I still thought it was fucking hilarious. I realize that I say it way too much, but I'm usually pretty good about not swearing in front of him. My friend Nick came over earlier today and we were playing Madden, so I'm sure a few "Fuuuuccckkks" came out lol. He must have overheard it. I don't know. I'm REALLY bad about not laughing when I shouldn't though. Really bad. Jenny always gets mad at me for it. I know laughing when a little kid says bad words or does things they shouldn't do does kind of encourage them, but sometimes I can't help it. It was funny. I was definitely pretty amused by it.

I'm sorry that I've been posting so much about the new baby lately. It's probably getting annoying haha. But I had a pretty interesting conversation about it with Evan about an hour ago. I had to try pretty hard not to laugh a few times. I didn't want him to think that I wasn't taking his questions seriously, or that I was laughing at him. So I tried to give him simple answers while holding back laughter. But some of the things he said were pretty funny. It went like this:

Evan: How much longer 'til the baby comes?
Me: About five and a half months. The baby will be here sometime in May.
E: But I don't want to wait that long. I want to be a big brother now!
Me: I know you do. But the baby has to grow in Mommy's tummy a lot more before it can be born.
E: Why can't they just take it out now? It can be a small baby.
Me: It doesn't work that way, bud.
E: Why?
Me: Because it takes a while for a baby to develop. It's not ready to come out yet. A baby has to grow for a long time before it's born, because otherwise it won't be healthy. The baby will come when it's ready.
E: Well I wish it would be ready now. It should hurry up.
Me: I know. I wish the baby could be here sooner too, but it can't. Not until it's a lot bigger.
E: How big is it right now?
Me: Tiny. About the size of an apple or orange. (I only know this because Jenny gets these weekly e-mails telling her stuff like that, and she tells me about them.)
E: Well Mom's tummy is way bigger than an orange.
Me: I know. That's because the area the baby is in grows bigger and takes up space too.
E: So since the baby's growing Mommy's tummy will get way fatter and rounder too, right?
Me: Don't ever tell her she has a fat tummy, Evan. That would make her feel bad. But yes, it will get a lot bigger and rounder.
E: Ok, I won't tell her that. But it WILL be fat and round.
Me: Not fat, just round. She's not getting fat. It's just the baby growing bigger. I'm serious, Evan...don't tell her she has a fat tummy. Ever. No matter how big it gets.
E: Ok, I won't! I promise.
Me: Thank you.
E: Well since the baby won't be here for a long time, how much longer 'til Christmas?
Me: A month and six days.
E: Man, I have to wait a long time for everything!

I'm sure that conversation was way more amusing to me than it would be to any of you, but I felt like posting it anyway, if only for documentation since it's still fresh in my mind haha.

I've noticed that B and I have gotten Evan to start saying "man" a lot lol. Not intentionally, of course. But I know we both say it quite a bit, and Evan has picked up on it. It's a good thing we're both really good about censoring what we say around him, or he'd pick up on A LOT more haha. I don't really want a kindergartner who swears like a sailor. I slip up occasionally, but I never say anything too bad around him. He has said "dammit" two or three times before, and I had to tell him not to say that. He also said "What the hell?!" about something once, so of course I had to tell him not to say that either. It was pretty fucking funny, but I managed not to laugh. I didn't want to encourage him. Jenny would kill me if she heard him say stuff like that haha. Luckily he hasn't said anything like that for about six months now. I seriously love some of the things he says though. The things kids say can be pretty damn amusing.

Man, I'm tired. I only got like three hours of sleep last night, tops. For a good reason though...Jenny's horny hormones. Haha. Sorry, you probably don't want to know that. We also went to bed late to begin with though, because we stayed up watching movies. I am seriously in zombie mode right now. I need a nap. That sounds amazing right now. It's so nice to have a lazy weekend.

The Smurfs are a lot more annoying than I remember them being. I watched the original series when I was a kid, and I loved it back then. Evan watches the reruns now. So they're the exact same episodes I used to watch, just way more annoying now that I'm not a kid. Using "smurf" in place of another word every single sentence isn't cute and it isn't funny. It's annoying. So, needless to say, I really do not want to say the movie. But I have to tomorrow. Evan and I are having an "Evan and Daddy Day" tomorrow. Like the "Mommy/Daughter Day" thing Jenny does with her daughter. We do it quite a bit. We did when it was just the two of us, too. I spend a ton of time with him at home, but we have our special days to go out and do something, just the two of us. On those days and/or nights we go out to eat wherever he wants to, then go do some type of activity, also usually of his choice. Well, he wants to go see the Smurf movie. So that's what we're doing. Lucky me. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be going with him. I love having these days with him. I'm just not happy about the fact that I have to sit through that movie. Oh well, maybe it won't be as bad as I'm thinking it will be.

Anyway, onto another topic.

B is doing much better today. We talked a little more, and then just spent the day hanging out. We ordered pizza and sat around watching movies and South Park for most of the day. It was nice to just do something really laid back, because we were both pretty tired today after talking all night last night. He got some sleep last night, but I didn't. I did manage to take a short nap though. Good thing, because I felt like I would have died without it. I'm really glad he asked me to talk rather than keeping it to himself and letting it build up and eat at him even more. Both of us have a hard time dealing with and talking about emotions. Our addiction problems make that pretty obvious. I've been working on the whole dealing with emotions thing a lot the past few years, but I'm still not very good at it. I'm even worse at talking about emotions. I can talk about other people's just fine, but it's harder to talk about my own. I've definitely made some major strides though. I'm like 100 times better at dealing with all that stuff now than I was before. B is working on the same thing. But he's newly sober and really young, so he has a lot to learn. We both do. So it's kind of cool to be able to help each other with that. Even though it sucks that he was feeling the way he was feeling, I think that conversation strengthened our bond even more.

I kinda feel like I'm part brother and part father figure. I feel much more like a big brother than a parent to him though. But there are some parent/child type elements in our relationship, for sure. It's not my job to parent him, but he needs some guidance and "parental support", for lack of a better way of putting it. I'm tired and groggy, so I can't really articulate very well right now. I don't tell him what to do or anything, so I'm not a parental figure in that way. He just needs some structure, guidance, and support, so I feel kind of like a parent to him in that way. In almost every other way I think I'm more like a big brother to him though. I think of him as a little brother, not as my son or anything. I'm not old enough to be his parent, haha. Well, unless I would have had a kid in 8th grade. So it's definitely more of a little brother type thing. I love the kid to death, so I'm glad he feels like he can open up to me and trust me. I really hope I can help him in the long run, and not just in the present. He's so young, and he has his whole life ahead of him. I don't want him to have to go through all the shit I went through. He's already been through A LOT. I didn't get it together until I was a decade older than he is. I'm hoping this early intervention will help him avoid a future like that. I'll do anything and everything I can to help him.

Sorry for babbling. Tired talk. I need to go to bed. Maybe I'll go do that now. Well, after The Daily Show is over. Lord knows I'm in dire need of sleep!