Insanely tired
May. 23rd, 2012 11:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I came home for lunch, and of course Jenny and the baby are both asleep. Oh well. I'm jealous. I wish I could sleep right now. Last night was a REALLY bad night with Ella. Really bad. I almost wanted a drink. Just a night cap. Of course, with me, it would never be just a night cap haha. So obviously I couldn't have one. But oh my God, she screamed NON-FUCKING-STOP. Seriously. I got MAYBE an hour and a half of sleep, broken up into three parts. It was awful. It's not just the lack of sleep that was bad. Lack of sleep is bad enough. But the screaming wouldn't cease. No matter what we did. She just shrieked. She's one month old today, and this has been going on since she was about three days old. I'm about to go insane. It got a little bit better for a few days a week or so ago, but that didn't last long. And even when it was better, it still wasn't good. She has an appointment with her pediatrician on Friday (I think...or maybe it's Monday), so hopefully she can shed some light on it. It has to be colic. But I was reading up on it, and most doctors won't diagnose it unless it goes on for a couple months. I REALLY don't want this to go on for much longer. Jenny and I started getting a bit snappy with each other last night and this morning. Not fighting or anything...we were both just grumpy as hell. Not that that's an excuse.
Fuuuucccckkkk.
Even energy drinks aren't helping today. Neither is coffee. I feel like a fucking zombie. Seriously. Everything is like...hazy. I don't know how else to describe it. It's like I'm drugged, but not in a good way.
I just can't believe how much different she is from Evan when he was a baby. I've said this before, but it's seriously like night and day. They're completely different. I hate it. I love Ella with all my heart, but I hate this nighttime screaming shit so much. I hate how she sleeps so much better during the day, but gives us hell at night. She's still pretty fussy during the day, but it's NOTHING compared to how she is at night. I know I've been bitching about this subject a lot...A LOT. But I can't help it. I'm jealous that Jenny is able to get in at least a few hours of sleep during the day while Ella is asleep. So she gets more sleep than I do, and I have to go to work all day after almost no sleep. I can't help but be a little jealous. And jealousy breeds resentment, and I don't want that. I think Jenny and I need a night away. Soon. I'll ask my mom to watch her for a night, and we can just go to a hotel and have a night to ourselves. It will be a sexless night, hotel and all (as in absolutely nothing more than kissing) but at least we'll be able to get some sleep. And we really need some time together. Just the two of us. All of this crap is driving us apart.
Ugh.
Sorry, just had to vent. I'm just sooo unbelievably tired. I think I've had a total of 7 or 8 hours of sleep in three days. And I never get more than two hours or so at a time. Ever. Neither of us do. Jenny and I split the nighttime stuff, but the screaming still wakes both of us. Uggghhhh. Fuck.
Fuuuucccckkkk.
Even energy drinks aren't helping today. Neither is coffee. I feel like a fucking zombie. Seriously. Everything is like...hazy. I don't know how else to describe it. It's like I'm drugged, but not in a good way.
I just can't believe how much different she is from Evan when he was a baby. I've said this before, but it's seriously like night and day. They're completely different. I hate it. I love Ella with all my heart, but I hate this nighttime screaming shit so much. I hate how she sleeps so much better during the day, but gives us hell at night. She's still pretty fussy during the day, but it's NOTHING compared to how she is at night. I know I've been bitching about this subject a lot...A LOT. But I can't help it. I'm jealous that Jenny is able to get in at least a few hours of sleep during the day while Ella is asleep. So she gets more sleep than I do, and I have to go to work all day after almost no sleep. I can't help but be a little jealous. And jealousy breeds resentment, and I don't want that. I think Jenny and I need a night away. Soon. I'll ask my mom to watch her for a night, and we can just go to a hotel and have a night to ourselves. It will be a sexless night, hotel and all (as in absolutely nothing more than kissing) but at least we'll be able to get some sleep. And we really need some time together. Just the two of us. All of this crap is driving us apart.
Ugh.
Sorry, just had to vent. I'm just sooo unbelievably tired. I think I've had a total of 7 or 8 hours of sleep in three days. And I never get more than two hours or so at a time. Ever. Neither of us do. Jenny and I split the nighttime stuff, but the screaming still wakes both of us. Uggghhhh. Fuck.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-23 07:03 pm (UTC)http://www.babycenter.com/404_my-baby-is-up-all-night-and-sleeps-all-day-how-can-i-get-him_3129.bc
Everyone used to tell me that you don't wake a sleeping baby but that is total bs! If I wouldn't have woken my son up I would have been up with him all night. So maybe when Jenny is with Ella she should wake her up or not let her nap as much.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 12:38 am (UTC)I bet that's hard. I wasn't a single parent until Evan was about a year and a half old. Somewhere around there. So I didn't have to deal with the infant stuff on my own. It would have been hard enough with an easy baby like Evan, but with Ella? I don't know what I'd do. I have never met a baby that cries all the time the way she does. It drives me crazy, but it also makes me feel bad because she's obviously uncomfortable or unhappy, and we have no idea what to do to make her feel better. So I feel bad for her.
Thanks. I hope so too!
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Date: 2012-05-24 12:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 12:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 12:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 01:18 am (UTC)Have you guys tried gripe water?
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Date: 2012-05-24 01:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 01:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 01:42 am (UTC)Also, have you guys tried keeping her up during the day?
no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 01:45 am (UTC)Yeah, we've tried that. We tried it for four or five days in a row. It didn't work. I don't know how or why it didn't work, but it didn't. She still spent most of the night awake and crying. So we just gave up on that and figured it was better to just let her sleep during the day, because that's better than her not getting enough sleep. Keeping her up during the day didn't even change her nighttime sleeping habits even a little bit. It's crazy.