Jan. 3rd, 2013

xxmadsenxx: (Default)
It seems like the thing to do for the new year is write a list of resolutions and all of that. I'm sitting here watching How I Met Your Mother and I need something else to entertain me at the same time because I'm in major ADD mode right now and can't pay attention to just watching a show, so I'll do this instead. I don't know if all of these are really resolutions, but they're things I want for 2013.

- Make some changes at work. Things can't continue the way they are right now. I'm going to push for an assistant. I can't manage my own department and do 60% or more of the work "co-managing" another department. I'm sick of it. With a family to take care of it's just too much. Trying to pack in 60 hours of work in a 40 hour work week is draining. Plus it's taking me away from the youth center, which leads me to my next thing.

- Spend more time working at the youth center. I'm hardly there anymore, and I want that to change.

- Continue working on my relationship with Jenny. We have a long way to go. There's a lot of work to be done. We absolutely have to take therapy seriously and keep it up.

- Get married. That's already on the agenda though. Our wedding is less than three months away! Two months and twenty days. That's crazy. It's coming up so fast. We still have a lot to do to prepare for it, too. Planning a wedding takes a lot of time and a lot of work. Luckily Jenny has been doing the bulk of it. I wouldn't really know what to do anyway. But we still have a lot to do. It's a bit nerve-wracking, but I am SO excited for Jenny to be my wife. I can't wait. This time it's going to be a forever thing. I love her SO fucking much, so I couldn't be happier about marrying her.

- Continue working on myself. I think I need to start seeing my therapist at least semi-regularly again. There are some things I want to work on. In order for Jenny and I to successfully work on our relationship, we both need to work on ourselves. I do think she needs a lot more help than I do, and she has more issues to work on, but I need to do it too. I need to work on how I deal with stress; my reactivity to things; my temper...although that has gotten WAY better...I'm usually pretty patient and laid back, but I do lose my temper more than I'd like to. I usually don't take it out on people, but occasionally I do, and I need to fix that. I've gotten WAY better at expressing and dealing with my emotions and other people's emotions (especially Jenny's), but I still have a lot of work to do there.

- As always, maintain my sobriety. I'm almost to six years, so I feel pretty good about this one. It's a never-ending battle though. I just have to keep fighting the fight. But I feel good about it.

- Start eating at least a little bit healthier. I eat like absolute shit right now. I don't want to become a health nut or anything, but I need to eat better than I do.

- Quit smoking. Whether or not this will happen, I don't know. But I'd like to do it. I need my stress level to go down before I try to quit though.

- Figure out what the fuck I'm going to do about grad school. I need to at least make a plan. I don't want to wait too much longer.

- Start being more social. I still hang out with friends, but not as much as I'd like to. I just don't have time, and when I do have time, I'm too worn out from everything else. Once my workload decreases I should be able to get out more. So that needs to come first.

- Get back to playing guitar more often. I still play pretty regularly, but not as much as I'd like. I used to play all the time. Now it's just another one of those things where I don't have that much time. I don't know what it is, but I need to start playing more. I miss it. I don't even know how long it's been since the last time I wrote original music. Well, besides the occasional improv jam session. I haven't actually written anything of my own for a while though. I really enjoy doing that, so I need to start doing it again.

- Just have a happy year. I think 2013 will be a good year. It has to be better than last year. Ella's birth was obviously an amazing time, but other than that, last year kinda sucked.

I hope 2013 will be a really good year for all of you, too.

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