Energy drinks are like crack.

Well, maybe not quite. But I feel pretty spracked out right now lol. Since I have to go to work and function all day with pretty much no sleep, I bought a giant case of 5-Hour Energy and a giant case of Red Bull. Today I had two of the 5-Hour energy drinks, two or three Red Bulls, a huge size grape Amp or whatever the Mountain Dew one is (which was fucking delicious, as far as energy drinks go), and my usual coffee. Less coffee than normal though, because the energy drinks took its place. I probably shouldn't drink that many energy drinks. I'll probably give myself a heart attack or something. Oh well. At least I won't be as tired.

When I came home from work, Jenny was like, "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were on coke or speed or something." Lol. I don't act like that on coke. Well, not usually. I guess if I have enough of it or if I'm in a certain mood I do. Or did. Whatever. There's a BIG difference between being coked out and tweaked. Fuuuccckkk tweakers. But anyway. I'd rather be on cocaine than caffeine, but no can do. So caffeine it is. It's not nearly as much fun, but the consequences are much less dire. For the record, I mean powder cocaine, not crack, like the subject line says. Crack is gross.

So anyway...

Evan is mad because I won't get him a dog. We have a cat. We don't need a dog. The last thing I need right now is a new dog on top of a screaming baby. I love dogs, but I'm a cat person. Besides, the cat we have is cooler than any dog. That cat is chill as hell. She's smart, laid back, funny, playful, friendly, and affectionate. We don't need a dog. Cats are way lower maintenance, too.

I think all these energy drinks are fucking with my stomach. Not sure how or why, but I think they are. Watch, now I probably won't sleep because of too much caffeine. Not that I'd be getting much sleep anyway.

That entry was pointless.

Evan's first kiss(es)

I just had an interesting conversation with Evan while I was getting him ready for bed. Here's how that went:

Evan: Guess what, Dad?
Me: What, Ev?
Evan: Me and Isabella are getting serious.
Me: What do you mean you're getting serious?
Evan: Our relationship. It's getting serious.
Me: How is it getting serious?
Evan: We don't just hold hands and hug anymore and sometimes kiss on the cheek. Now we kiss.
Me: You kiss?
Evan: Yep. We kissed for the first time today. And then again at recess and then after school.
Me: (I was thinking "Oh God" haha) What kind of kiss?
Evan: A REAL kiss.
Me: What's a "real" kiss?
Evan: On the lips, duh. What do you think?
Me: Like a dry kiss? Or wet?  (I didn't know what to say lol. I didn't want to full on explain kissing with tongue or anything to my freaking six-year-old. I didn't think that's what he was doing, but I wanted to make sure. I don't think kids his age really know about that stuff, but I also don't think most of them "date" the same girl for a year lol. Not that French kissing is exactly "wet" (unless you kiss a sloppy kisser...then it sure can be)...I don't know, I couldn't think of a better term and I had no idea what to say. Semi-wet? Wet-ish? I don't fucking know. I wasn't going to say "Did she stick her tongue in your mouth/did you stick your tongue in her mouth?" because I would have felt really weird, and I didn't want to give him ideas if that wasn't what happened lol. Plus the "wet/dry" thing is what my mom asked me when I told her that a neighbor girl who was a year older kissed me in like first grade lol. When in doubt, I do what my mom did haha.)
Evan: Why would it be wet? She's not a dog. Not all slobbery.
Me: Ok, just making sure.
Evan: You're weird sometimes.
Me: I know.

Man, that kid...