Writer's Block: Upon further review

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I wish I had NEVER touched drugs. I think the "why" there is obvious...it fucked up my life in so many ways, as well as the lives of people close to me. My addiction(s) controlled me for over a decade, and I wish I could go back and change that. There's no point in ruminating though. No point in dwelling on it, because I can't change the past. It is what it is. I rose above it, and that's all that matters. Some good things came out of my drug and alcohol problems though...I had some life experiences I never would have had if I wasn't so into drugs. Some good, some bad. But whether they were good or bad, I learned from them. I wouldn't be the person I am now if I hadn't gone through all that shit, and for the first time in my life I'm happy with who I am and where I am. I also probably wouldn't have chosen to work with addicts if I hadn't been through it myself. I love it, and it's extremely rewarding. So I guess that's the wrong answer to the question, since I wouldn't change some of it.

Ok, a better answer: I would have physically stopped my brother from doing more heroin the day he ODed, which I wrote about last week. Nothing good came from that event. So that's the one thing I would change or undo. That's a better answer to the question. I'll leave it at that. No need to delve into that subject again here.

Bored as hell.

- I am so bored. There is seriously nothing to do.
- I'm home alone, which rarely happens. It should be a nice break, but instead I'm bored as fuck. I'm not used to having this much time and space to myself.
- Jenny is having a mommy/daughter day with her daughter. They went shopping, then to dinner, and right now they're at a movie. She'll be home in like two hours, but that doesn't help my boredom now. Oh well. I'm glad she's doing things like that with her daughter.
- My brother is at his girlfriend's house, and will most likely stay over there tonight.
- B is at a friend's going away party. A close friend of his is moving out of state, so I made an exception to the curfew rule and told him he could stay out until 1:00 tonight. I think that's reasonable. He'd better not do anything stupid. I don't think he will though...he seems pretty set on maintaining his sobriety, and so far, so good.
- Evan is having a sleepover at his best friend's house.
- So yeah...I'm home alone and bored as hell.
- Boredom and ADD are a bad mix.
- I played video games for a while, then got bored of it. I don't have the attention span to watch a movie or read or do anything that requires sustained attention right now. I can't think of anything else to do, so I'll sit here and bitch instead haha. Well, not all bitching. Rambling about pointless things, too.

/bitch fest

Enough bitching about being bored. Now I'll just ramble about random things.

- I suppose I could go make bombs out of some of the leftover fireworks we have...we bought way too many. But I'd feel kind of lame making bombs by myself at my age lol. And somehow I don't think my neighbors would appreciate it. Well, a couple of them anyway. The others wouldn't mind.
- The criminal justice system is fucked up and should be renamed...it's anything BUT just. I'm just going to leave it at that right now, or this will turn into a long rant about how fucked up it is.
- There are WAY too many reality and competition shows. I swear, they make up like 75% of everything on TV. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but there are way too many.
- I think it's weird that society thinks it's ok for cats to get high off of catnip, yet marijuana is stigmatized and people are prohibited from smoking it. Wikipedia's explanation of catnip's main purpose is pretty funny. It says that catnip "is mostly used as a recreational drug for pet cats' enjoyment." It just seems strange to me that it's ok for cats to get high off of recreational drugs, while most states don't even allow people to use marijuana for medicinal purposes, let alone recreational ones.
- Tea baggers make me mad, but at the same time they make me laugh because they're so fucking stupid. Everything they say is ridiculously asinine.
- I have heard Britney Spears' Femme Fatale CD way more than any guy should ever have to. Well, I guess some guys like it, but whatever...not many. I've heard it way, way, WAY too many times. I'm pretty sure I have it memorized. But Jenny loves Britney Spears and listens to it all the time. Including in my car. So I'm forced to listen to it too. Oh, the things you do for love...
- Diet Coke and cigarettes make me happy.