Overdue Update Part 2
Jan. 23rd, 2010 11:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xxmadsenxxThe last time I updated (which was in April...crazy), Jenny and I had a little thing going on. We started sleeping together last March, and it was purely physical (at least openly) for a good 4 or 5 months, but it gradually grew into something else. So...we're "dating" right now. I know, I know...it sounds crazy, after all the shit that went down before. I might seem like a total fool, but now that certain issues have been/are being dealt with, things are great. I say "dating" rather than saying that we're back together because we're not "officially together", but I guess it's a matter of semantics. We started sleeping together like 10 months ago, and have been dating or whatever you want to call it for around 5 months now. Something like that. We are taking it slow though, as far as the relationship part of it goes. Obviously we didn't take the sex part too slowly lol. We see each other about 3 to 5 times a week. It varies. Usually 3 or 4.
I have set a few boundaries. Jenny has only slept over a couple of times, and it was when Evan was at my mom's house...he likes to have sleepovers there every so often. I would love to have Jenny stay over sometimes, but as of right now I don't think it's a very good idea, so I have set boundaries there. I don't want my son to get used to his mom being here overnight at this point in time. It hasn't been long enough. I am not about to rush into something like having her stay here all the time or living with us unless I know it's a stable, permanent thing...although I guess you can never REALLY know if something is permanent, as I learned before...so I guess I'll say long-term. It's going to take a long time for us to get back to that, assuming that we do. I want Evan to have stability in his life, which he won't have if his mom comes back full-time for a little while and then leaves again. I don't want to put him through that. I guess I don't really want to put myself through that, either.
My main concern is protecting my son, but I guess I'm also protecting myself, as I think I should. I have walls up that she doesn't, but that's the way it needs to be right now. I'm definitely guarded, which I think is understandable. I'll let down those walls if and when I feel that it's safe, but it will take a long time for some of them to go down. I love Jenny. I always have, and I always will, regardless of what happens. I'm giving this one more shot. If it doesn't work out this time, it never will. There will be no more going back and forth. Either she's in or she's out. No more bullshit.
Jenny has come so far with her personal issues, and she has completely turned her life around. She's back to being the Jenny I fell in love with. I'm extremely happy about that, and it feels so good to be with her again. I really hope it lasts, but only time will tell. But as of right now at least, everything is great. So far so good. :)
I have set a few boundaries. Jenny has only slept over a couple of times, and it was when Evan was at my mom's house...he likes to have sleepovers there every so often. I would love to have Jenny stay over sometimes, but as of right now I don't think it's a very good idea, so I have set boundaries there. I don't want my son to get used to his mom being here overnight at this point in time. It hasn't been long enough. I am not about to rush into something like having her stay here all the time or living with us unless I know it's a stable, permanent thing...although I guess you can never REALLY know if something is permanent, as I learned before...so I guess I'll say long-term. It's going to take a long time for us to get back to that, assuming that we do. I want Evan to have stability in his life, which he won't have if his mom comes back full-time for a little while and then leaves again. I don't want to put him through that. I guess I don't really want to put myself through that, either.
My main concern is protecting my son, but I guess I'm also protecting myself, as I think I should. I have walls up that she doesn't, but that's the way it needs to be right now. I'm definitely guarded, which I think is understandable. I'll let down those walls if and when I feel that it's safe, but it will take a long time for some of them to go down. I love Jenny. I always have, and I always will, regardless of what happens. I'm giving this one more shot. If it doesn't work out this time, it never will. There will be no more going back and forth. Either she's in or she's out. No more bullshit.
Jenny has come so far with her personal issues, and she has completely turned her life around. She's back to being the Jenny I fell in love with. I'm extremely happy about that, and it feels so good to be with her again. I really hope it lasts, but only time will tell. But as of right now at least, everything is great. So far so good. :)
