(no subject)

[xxmadsenxx]

I had my appointment with the psychiatrist today. I got a prescription for Trazodone to see if it will help me sleep. I talked to him about Effexor and I decided I'm going to wait a few weeks to see if my depression starts easing up. He said he thinks it would be a good idea for me to take it for at least a few months if I don't start feeling better in 3 to 4 weeks. He said that if I start getting more sleep I might feel better, so I hope the Trazodone works. He said he wants to see me in 3 to 4 weeks because he wants to monitor my depression because of my addiction. He asked me if I've been having cravings and I fessed up to having alcohol cravings. So I think that's the main reason he's worried about it.

I have pretty much been lying to myself and everyone else about the cravings. I have been craving alcohol the past couple weeks...sometimes pretty badly. I don't know why I was trying to downplay it. I think Jenny knew that I was having worse cravings and more of them than I've been letting onto, and that's why she threw it in my face a few times when we had that fight. Major low blow. She has apologized a million times for it, so that's good. That whole thing is another entry though. What's not acceptable and all of that. I don't feel like getting into that right now though. So yeah...I have been having cravings for alcohol. I've been thinking about it, and I think that's a lot of the reason I looked at that drink menu. Not just because I was curious. I mean...I wasn't going to order anything. I was just being dumb. At least I'm not craving any drugs. So that's a really good thing.

Ugh...I have to go back to work. At least for a few hours. I really don't want to. Oh well. I really will catch up with and get back to you guys later. I just haven't had a chance to yet.

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