(no subject)

[xxmadsenxx]

Dude, fuck this trip. Seriously. I'm sitting here on my phone on LJ in some little desert town because Jenny and I need a little time away from each other before we have to meet everyone for dinner.

The reunion was actually kinda fun this year. Ella started getting fussy when it was basically over and we were just talking to people, so we took her back to the room. Evan went to wade in a river with Jenny's sister and some other people, so it was just me, Jenny, and Ella in the room. I was planning on going down to meet them because Jenny just wanted to stay in the room for a while and relax. I was just going to go after Ella went to sleep and I grabbed a hat. That's why I went back to the room in the first place. Well, Ella wouldn't go to sleep even though it was obvious that she was extremely tired. When we tried to put her down for a nap she just screamed and screamed. Not cried...screamed. Jenny was holding her and trying to get her to stop. I sat down on the bed because I didn't know what I could do since Jenny was already holding her. I reached for the remote to the TV because Ella never has trouble falling asleep if it's on quietly, so I was just going to keep it really quiet. Before I could even push a button Jenny snapped at me. She said, "Don't you DARE turn on that TV, Chris." So I put the remote back on the nightstand and just sat there quietly for a second, thinking Jenny just didn't want the TV on because of the noise. But then she yelled at me. She said, "Don't just sit there looking at me. Fucking DO SOMETHING!" I assumed she just yelled because she was frustrated with Ella's non-stop screaming, so I shrugged it off and calmly asked her what she wanted me to do. She snapped at me again, saying, "I don't care what you do. Just DO something! Don't leave this all up to me." I gladly would have tried to help if I had thought she wanted me to try something other than what she was doing. I offered to take her outside in the stroller because that usually calms her down and sometimes makes her fall asleep. Well, that didn't work, so I brought her back. I tried holding her and kinda bouncing around with her a little bit to try to calm her down. Nothing happened. I suggested a car ride, because she oftentimes falls asleep in the car. I offered to do it, but Jenny said she would. So I said I was going to wander around looking at stuff, and to call or text me and let me know what was going on. That's when the big fight started. I'll just write it in convo form because that's easier. Keep in mind, Ella was still screaming during all of this. This is pretty much verbatim, because it just happened.

Jenny: Yeah, sure. I bet you'll wander right into that little bar.
Me: What? What's that supposed to mean?
Jenny: You were looking pretty intently at that drink menu at dinner last night.
Me: Oh my God...I told you, I was just curious.
Jenny: Right. I've never seen you look over a drink menu before, except back when you were drinking. And speaking of drinking, I know you're upset about your counting error. And I know you're more depressed than you're admitting to. I'm not stupid.
Me: That doesn't mean I'm going to go to a bar and drink.
Jenny: You don't know that.
Me: Um...yes I do.
Jenny: Well I don't.
Me: Well, you should.
Jenny: How did you not know how long you've been clean?
Me: I have no fucking idea. If it's such an unforgettable thing, how did you not notice?
Jenny: It's not my job to.
Me: Um ok. Well thanks for the support.
Jenny: Shut up. It has nothing to do with support.
Me: Ok. Well are you going to take the baby or should I?
Jenny: You know I am. It's not like you're really asking.
Me: Uh, I'm pretty sure I just asked.
Jenny: As a formality. You had no intention of actually doing it.
Me: I'm the one who came up with the idea.
Jenny: For me to do.
Me: Look Jenny, this is a ridiculous thing to argue about. I'll just take her.
Jenny: No. You go wander around. Wander right into that little bar to get yourself some of your precious whiskey.
Me: What the fuck. Why are you being such a bitch?
Jenny: Don't call me a bitch, you asshole.
Me: I didn't. I asked you why you're being a bitch.
Jenny: Same thing. You're a fucking dick.
Me: You should listen to yourself right now. I wish I had this whole conversation recorded so you could hear how ridiculous it is, and how rude you're being for no reason.
Jenny: It's not for no reason.
Me: Well then what's the reason?
Jenny: Because you're an asshole who won't help with anything, including your own fucking kids.
Me: Seriously? Wow.
Jenny: That's always your response: "Wow."
Me: Well, you say a lot of wow-worthy things.
Jenny: Well "wow" this: Your whiskey is calling. Go get wasted like I know you want to while I take care of our daughter. Wander away. Drink your heart out, sweetheart.
Me: You're such a bitch. I didn't do ANYTHING to you.
Jenny: You just didn't do anything, period.
Me: Ok, Jenny.
Jenny: Don't just "ok Jenny" me.
Me: Well what the fuck do you want me to say? (Jenny just looked at me and didn't respond.) Exactly. You don't even know.
Jenny: Before you asked me what I wanted you to do. Now you're asking me what I want you to say. Think for yourself, Chris. It's not my job to think for you.
Me: I did think for myself. I thought for you, too. I came up with the car idea. And when I thought for myself I thought I'd just go wander around looking at stuff, which you somehow translated as "I'm going to go get drunk."
Jenny: Well I know you want to.
Me: If you keep going with this shit I'll want to.
Jenny: Oh, so if you relapse it's my fault?
Me: Jesus Christ. No. And I'm not going to fucking relapse, so just quit it.
Jenny: You quit it.
Me: Nice comeback. How old are you? Five?
Jenny: Oh, so you can count to five now?
Me: Fuck you.
Jenny: Fuck you too.
Me: If you're going to go just go already. I don't want to keep doing this in front of Ella.
Jenny: Fine. You'd better be here when I get back.
Me: I'll just meet you at the restaurant.
Jenny: So you can go "wander" around? Ok. Have fun. Don't get so drunk that you can't find the restaurant. (She gave me a big smart ass smirk with that as she grabbed the keys.)
Me: You should go get drunk. Maybe then you won't be such a raging bitch.
Jenny: Maybe I will. Then I'll kiss you so you can taste it.
Me: I'm not kissing you either way. I don't even want to be around you, let alone kiss you.
Jenny: (She laughed for some reason.) Ok. Well, meet me there at 7. Don't be late. I'll be sure to have the drink list ready and waiting for you.
Me: Great. Thanks, babe. Always looking out for me. (I gave her the fakest looking smile I could.) I'll see you there.
Jenny: Keep up appearances at dinner.
Me: I know the drill.

She just rolled her eyes and left. She left like 90 minutes ago. I walked to a little store right after she left and bought another pack of cigarettes. Then I just came back to the room and wrote this. And I wrote this paragraph while walking, and now I'm here. This'll be fun. I didn't think I'd be on LJ so much on this trip...or even at all haha.

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