How can I tell Jenny to back off a bit without upsetting her too much? I don't want her to think that I don't care, because I do and I'll always be here for her. But our closeness causes problems in my relationship with Annie, and I don't want that to keep happening. I'm just not sure what to say to Jenny. I still want her to be able to confide in me, and I want to try to help her, but I guess it's going too far. Annie is afraid that I'm having an "emotional relationship" with Jenny. Depending on how you look at it, I suppose that could be true. But it's nothing like that. I'm just always there for her, and I know she'll always be there for me. Plus we have a son together. There is always going to be an emotional bond there.

I need to stop devoting so much time to Jenny. I can't keep talking to her all the time, because it's upsetting Annie. But I need to be there for Jenny at the same time. It's frustrating.

Still craving a drink. But obviously a cigarette will have to do.

She keeps texting me and begging me to not make her go.

That on top of her continuously telling me that she wants to be with me? I can't take this shit.

She is bat shit out of her mind. She tried to fucking kiss me. She was high out of her mind and tried to fucking kiss me. What the fuck?

Do I tell Justin about this one, or no? I don't really want to...I think she just needs to get into rehab and get everything sorted out. She has a lot of problems to deal with.

I am definitely not telling Annie about this.

So...I just got back from lunch with Jenny, and I don't know what to do.

We had a nice lunch, but when we went to my house and started talking things changed. We chose to go to my house because she wanted to see Evan, so we had our conversation there.

I mentioned the cuts on her arms and she broke down. She told me that she has been really depressed lately, and felt like hurting herself...so she did. She also confessed to me that she went on a three day coke binge, the end of which was last night. She has only gotten six hours of sleep in the past 72 hours. I'm not sure if that's solely because of the coke or if it's partly due to her bipolar disorder, since she used to go through periods of time where she wouldn't sleep much.

She needs help. I know she hasn't yet developed an addiction, but she's sick right now. She told me that she almost called me to take her to the hospital the other night, and I kinda wish she would have. I'm really worried about her.

I also find it kind of disturbing that she's keeping all of this from Justin. I'm glad that she still feels like she can come to me about things like this, but he needs to know. I told her that she should tell him about what's been going on, and she said that she doesn't want to. I don't know what to think of that. He and I are not exactly friends, but I almost feel guilty keeping all of this from him.

I don't know what to do.

I guess he asked about the cuts on her arms a few days ago, and she said that the cat scratched her. I'm sure he didn't buy it, but I guess he left it alone. When I first mentioned the cuts she TRIED giving me that excuse, but I saw right through it and she knew that, so she confessed to doing it herself.

She is being SO self-destructive, and I have absolutely no idea what to do about it. It breaks my heart to see her doing these things to herself, and her growing drug use really worries me. She told me that the reason she has been doing these things is because she needs to feel something. I can understand that, just as I can understand using to avoid feeling certain things. Feeling entirely empty is horrible, and sometimes you need to feel something...anything. I typically used to avoid certain feelings and to escape from reality, but I have been where she is right now.

I just don't know what to do. I want to help her, but I don't think I know how to.

She tried to justify her cocaine use by saying it's usually only two or three times a month, but that is still far too much. I don't want to see her become an addict, and she CAN'T keep going on binges that last for days.

Fuck...I don't even know.

As most of you that read my journal should know, Jenny is pregnant. And as some of you may know, she's been dealing with an eating disorder on and off for a few years now.

Well, we went to the mall for a few hours with her mom and her niece and nephew today, and stopped to eat at the food court. I never know what to think about her eating habits. She'll eat healthy for a while, then start binging, and sometimes it's just one "slip up" as she calls it, but sometimes she goes and purges it. I can usually tell when she binges and plans on purging, because she'll go on eating normally for a while, then spontaneously get a bunch of junk. I didn't think anything of it, since she's pregnant and as a result has been less restrictive about what she eats and has been indulging, which she should. Anyway, she went to Hot Dog on a Stick and got a veggie dog, fries, and lemonade. No big deal, right? It's just one meal. For the next little while she kept talking about how she shouldn't have eaten that, especially the fries, and how she was going to be huge, and how she regretted it, etc. etc. etc. Well, as soon as we got home, she went straight to the bathroom. She was in there for a while, so I went to check on her to see if she was okay, and she told me that it was just morning sickness. By the way, I don't know why they call it that, because it seems like it happens a lot more than just in the morning. So, I believed her and left her alone.

Later on, she wanted to order pizza. She ate to the point where she said she was uncomfortable, and headed to the bathroom right after again. Once again, she was sick. And once again, she claimed it was just morning sickness. I kind of suspected something, but I left her alone about it.

After an hour or two, she went back to the pizza, and was snacking on stuff with one of her friends. And, surprise surprise, she went straight to the bathroom after that, too. Well, this time I was quite sure something was up, so I just opened the door to the bathroom without knocking and asking if she was okay, and I caught her purging.

I don't know what to do. I confronted her about it, and told her that she needs to stop this, especially because she's pregnant, and now she's mad at me. I honestly have no idea what to do. I don't know what to say to her. I don't know how to get her to stop. I don't think it's something she's been doing on a regular basis since we found out that she's pregnant, but she shouldn't be doing it at all. I don't want her hurting herself, and I don't want her hurting the baby. I'm at a loss as to what to do though. She'll kill me if I tell her mom. But her mom wouldn't be the best person to tell anyway...they'd just fight about it.

If any of you have ANY advice, help me out...because I have no idea what to do. Thanks.