xxmadsenxx (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
xxmadsenxx) wrote2012-05-13 09:54 pm
xxmadsenxx) wrote2012-05-13 09:54 pm
ADHD
My ADHD is raging today. I can't pay attention to anything, and I can't sit still. When we were at my mom's house for that Mother's Day dinner thing, I kept walking from room to room, then outside, then back inside, and so on and so forth. Plus I was talking up a storm and just felt like being obnoxious. That last part is very childlike, I know. But I guess I was just in a hyper, annoying mood. So I kept singing stupid songs loudly, just for the hell of it. Then I ran around and played tag with Evan and my cousin's kid. Then we played this ninja game where you take turns trying to chop each other's arms off. I was way more on the kids' level than the adults today haha. It's more fun that way, anyway.
I seriously can't sit still, and I'm so bored. I keep going from one thing to another, and nothing can hold my attention. There's nothing on TV. No one is writing stuff on here. Evan, Jenny, and Ella are asleep, and B is with his girlfriend. So I'm sitting here attempting to entertain myself in various ways and texting people. Every time I'm in super ADHD mode I think, "I have never been this bored in my whole entire life." Obviously that's not true, but it feels that way. Every single time. I would go to my brother's house or a friend's house or something, but I'm on Ella duty, so I can't. So.fucking.bored. I almost wish Ella would wake up, even if it means waking up screaming, just so that I'd have something to occupy my time.
Oh hell yeah. Good Burger is on. That's such a stupid movie. Stupidly wonderful. Well, I haven't seen it in like a decade, but it seems like the type of movie that I'd be into right now. Even while typing this I'm sitting here tapping my foot. I couldn't sit still and focus on something right now if my life depended on it. I guess I'm kind of focusing on writing this, but not really. Typing about not focusing while fidgeting and trying to find something on TV doesn't really count as paying attention to something.
I feel like running around again. Too bad Evan is in bed. Damn school night. I suppose I could go running, but I hate exercising. Putting the word "go" before running makes it sound much less appealing. Yeah, fuck that.
At least I don't have to get anything done right now. If I did, I'd be S.O.L., because that wouldn't happen.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I'm so bored.
Too bad I can't take Adderall or anything like that for my ADHD. That would actually help. Strattera sucks. Usually I can manage it myself and keep it under control for the most part, but sometimes it goes crazy. Like today. It was a hell of a lot easier to manage when I could self-medicate with drugs and/or alcohol when I needed to. Not that I wasn't using them all the time anyway. I was always high and/or drunk as it was. But at least then my ADHD wasn't bothering me much haha.
Maybe I'll go eat some cheesecake. That will entertain me for about five minutes.
Fuuuuccckkk. This is going to be a loooonnngg night. Something tells me I won't be going to sleep for a long time.
This movie is stupider than I remembered it being, which is saying a lot, because I remembered it being really stupid. I'm bored of it after about five minutes. I'll probably leave it on though.
It's fucking hot in here. The thermostat thing says it's 70 degrees, but I call bullshit. It's lying. It feels way hotter than that in here. Now I'm bored, restless, AND hot. Shitty.
I suddenly got the urge to play darts. Or pool. Either one. Instead, I get to sit here doing nothing.
I want to read, but I would just keep reading the same sentence over and over again, and not absorbing anything, so I'd have to keep going back and rereading things, and I wouldn't get anywhere. No point in trying.
Now I want to go swimming.
I apologize for this entire entry lol.
I seriously can't sit still, and I'm so bored. I keep going from one thing to another, and nothing can hold my attention. There's nothing on TV. No one is writing stuff on here. Evan, Jenny, and Ella are asleep, and B is with his girlfriend. So I'm sitting here attempting to entertain myself in various ways and texting people. Every time I'm in super ADHD mode I think, "I have never been this bored in my whole entire life." Obviously that's not true, but it feels that way. Every single time. I would go to my brother's house or a friend's house or something, but I'm on Ella duty, so I can't. So.fucking.bored. I almost wish Ella would wake up, even if it means waking up screaming, just so that I'd have something to occupy my time.
Oh hell yeah. Good Burger is on. That's such a stupid movie. Stupidly wonderful. Well, I haven't seen it in like a decade, but it seems like the type of movie that I'd be into right now. Even while typing this I'm sitting here tapping my foot. I couldn't sit still and focus on something right now if my life depended on it. I guess I'm kind of focusing on writing this, but not really. Typing about not focusing while fidgeting and trying to find something on TV doesn't really count as paying attention to something.
I feel like running around again. Too bad Evan is in bed. Damn school night. I suppose I could go running, but I hate exercising. Putting the word "go" before running makes it sound much less appealing. Yeah, fuck that.
At least I don't have to get anything done right now. If I did, I'd be S.O.L., because that wouldn't happen.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I'm so bored.
Too bad I can't take Adderall or anything like that for my ADHD. That would actually help. Strattera sucks. Usually I can manage it myself and keep it under control for the most part, but sometimes it goes crazy. Like today. It was a hell of a lot easier to manage when I could self-medicate with drugs and/or alcohol when I needed to. Not that I wasn't using them all the time anyway. I was always high and/or drunk as it was. But at least then my ADHD wasn't bothering me much haha.
Maybe I'll go eat some cheesecake. That will entertain me for about five minutes.
Fuuuuccckkk. This is going to be a loooonnngg night. Something tells me I won't be going to sleep for a long time.
This movie is stupider than I remembered it being, which is saying a lot, because I remembered it being really stupid. I'm bored of it after about five minutes. I'll probably leave it on though.
It's fucking hot in here. The thermostat thing says it's 70 degrees, but I call bullshit. It's lying. It feels way hotter than that in here. Now I'm bored, restless, AND hot. Shitty.
I suddenly got the urge to play darts. Or pool. Either one. Instead, I get to sit here doing nothing.
I want to read, but I would just keep reading the same sentence over and over again, and not absorbing anything, so I'd have to keep going back and rereading things, and I wouldn't get anywhere. No point in trying.
Now I want to go swimming.
I apologize for this entire entry lol.
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Good Burger was really stupid. Just bad. It was entertaining, but extremely stupid. I hadn't seen it FOREVER so I didn't really remember. I'll have to show it to Evan though. He'd love it.