xxmadsenxx: (Default)
[personal profile] xxmadsenxx
I think I might go to a meeting tomorrow. For the past two days or so I have been thinking about drinking...a lot. No coke cravings, thank God, but the alcohol cravings have been pretty strong. I know that I won't drink, but I'm hoping that maybe a meeting will help kill the urge a little bit. I really don't like meetings though, so I don't know. I'm at a point where I am positive that I won't give in to my urges to drink, but I definitely still struggle with the cravings. I don't think they will ever entirely go away, although it has gotten better with time for the most part. I'm really bad at dealing with stress and emotions, so I'm not surprised that this thing is showing its face right now.

It probably wouldn't be a very good idea to ask Jenny to go with me, huh? I'm sure Annie would be pissed.

Edit: Not sure why I was even thinking about asking Jenny. Since she got out of rehab, the only contact we have really had has been regarding Evan, and that's how it should stay for now. She might get the wrong idea and think that I want our friendship to go back to how it was, but I don't want that. I only thought of her because she could be there to give me support, but I'll just ask my brother to go instead. Or I'll go alone.

Date: 2008-11-17 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pour-etre-belle.livejournal.com
I know Annie would be pissed if you asked Jenny to go...

Are you still talking to Jenny? I thought last time you posted, you weren't going to talk to her.

Date: 2008-11-18 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xxmadsenxx.livejournal.com
Well, I still have to talk to her because of Evan. I only talk to her about twice a week, and it's brief. Mainly about when she'll see him and stuff.

Date: 2008-11-18 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aaybara.livejournal.com
Why not ask Annie to go? It might be nice for her to see what it's like. It will also help her feel closer to you if you share that part of you with her.

Date: 2008-11-18 03:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xxmadsenxx.livejournal.com
I guess that's true. You have a point.

I didn't have time to go to one today, because I had to work late. But maybe tomorrow.

Date: 2008-11-18 03:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shaden.livejournal.com
*hug* look into your little ones eyes and find whatever strength you have inside to do whatever you need to do to stay clean. much love and support to you.

Date: 2008-11-18 07:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xxmadsenxx.livejournal.com
I'm not really worried about staying clean. I can do that. I just want the cravings to go away.

Date: 2008-11-18 09:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xxmadsenxx.livejournal.com
I think I'll just go by myself, and if I decide that I really don't want to go by myself, I'll ask my brother to go with me. For some reason I don't think I would be very comfortable having Annie there. I don't know why. I just wouldn't.


xxmadsenxx: (Default)

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