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I need a drama-free entry, so this will just be about random things.

Tomorrow is the last day of work until April 1st! Hell yes! I'm so excited about that. I don't have to work for the two days before the wedding, and I have all of next week off for the honeymoon. I'm not going to even do so much as check my work e-mail once as soon as I leave work tomorrow. Not until I go back. It's going to be so nice. I'm sick of work right now.

Do you know what's just about the best thing ever? Reese's Minis. The tiny ones, that come in a bag unwrapped. They're amazing, and seriously addicting. "Servings Per Container: about 6" Hahahaha yeah right. Not even. More like two. Possibly three. Do you know what else are fucking delicious? Peachie-Os. Those gummy peach ring things. I'm happy to say that I have both of them right next to me right now.

There are so many shows about aliens on TV. It's insane. Have you ever noticed that the vast majority of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens are rednecks? Oftentimes redneck farmers. I find that interesting, and pretty telling. It's funny. I just turned on the TV and there's nothing on, so I'm watching this new alien show on the Science channel. Right now they're talking about aliens being so intelligent and evolved that they're robots. Do you know what show I find fucking hilarious? That Ancient Aliens show. Some of the stuff is weird and kind of interesting, but most of it is just plain ridiculous. It's comical. Michio Kaku is on this new show? Nice. It's called Aliens: The Definitive Guide. At least this one has some science to it, unlike Ancient Aliens. They just need to put Neil deGrasse Tyson on here. He's the coolest scientist out there, by far. Michio is pretty cool too though. Just not in the same way.

I was flipping through one of Jenny's Cosmo magazines, and holy shit...the way they phrase things is so fucking stupid. I wish I had it next to me for specific examples. I could go get it, but I don't care that much. Plus I'm lazy. But some of the things they write in there are just ridiculous. I'm mostly talking about what they say and how they say it, not the subjects they're talking about. It's funny to read. Speaking of women's magazines, there are so many ads in them. It's insane. I know that all magazines have a lot of ads, but DAMN! And even a lot of pages that aren't technically ads are basically ads, because they show beauty products, clothes, jewelry, etc. and tell you how much they are and where to get them. That's basically still advertising. It's ad, ad, scented ad, ad, page full of stuff that's basically an ad, ad, smelly perfume ad, ad, article, ad, another perfume ad you can smell, ad, ad, article, ad, quiz, ad, ad, perfume smelling ad, and so on and so forth.

Damn, I already ate half of this bag of Reese's minis.

They have too many celebrity or semi-celebrity competition celebrity shows. Now there's one about swimming? Seriously?

There are too many stupid reality shows in general. They should just give me one. Even the short description you'd get on your TV for the pilot episode would be more interesting (or at least more intriguing) than most. "A recovering addict and his borderline ex-wife remarry and raise their two children in a household that's anything but normal."

That's not entirely true...aside from our relationship, our household is pretty normal. Our relationship is a pretty big part of the whole household thing though, so I don't know. But that's enough relationship stuff for this entry.

Ella has started pulling herself up and standing while holding onto the coffee table. Maybe she'll start walking soon. She'll be 11 months old on Saturday. This is the baby who was too lazy to crawl for a long time though, so who knows. But it seems like she's on the path to walking.

Steve Carrell is on Chelsea Lately and he has grey hair. It's weird. I wonder if it's for a role or if he's going with the grey thing now. Either way, it threw me off.

I can't imagine having grey hair. I have yet to find a single grey hair. I hope it stays that way for a long time. I know some people who started getting grey hairs when they were quite a bit younger than I am. 33 might not be all that young, but it's too young for that. I think I'm safe though. My dad had dark hair and it stayed that way for a long time. It was still dark with no visible grey hair when he left us. I'm trying to think of how old he was then. Early 40s I guess. And my mom is in her mid-fifties and doesn't have very much grey in her hair. She dyes it, but she doesn't have very much grey naturally. So I think I'm good for a while. But when I'm not, I'm dying it. I can't imagine having grey hair. At least not before the age of like...60.

I don't know what other random things to talk about, so I'll just stop here.
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DAMMIT. Now that stupid song is going to be stuck in my head.

Ok, it's time for a short, positive entry to kind of balance things out.

Here's a list of things that I think are pretty amazing right now:

- Donuts
- Friends. Could I BE any more obsessed with that show?
- Diet Coke (Ok, so some of these would be on every list of amazing things I would ever make, but that doesn't change the fact that they're amazing right now.)
- When the weather forecast says that it's going to snow and then it doesn't. That happened today.
- The fact that it's not supposed to snow for almost another week
- Water. Because I'm really thirsty right now for some reason. Water seems to be the best thing for that. Imagine that.
- Playing Solitaire on my phone
- Brody Dalle. Just like Friends and Diet Coke, she's a regular staple when it comes to things I love. But I was just listening to The Distillers, so that's what made me think to put her on this list.
- The fact that tomorrow is Friday
- Amazon.com
- These new pajama pants Jenny just bought me. They are seriously the most comfortable pants ever, in the history of time. I want to wear them all the time. I don't know exactly what it is about them that makes them so comfortable, but they're fucking amazing.
- Sinus rinse things. The bottle kind, not the Neti pot. So like a Neti bottle. So much easier than the stupid pot. Because of my deviated septum, the Neti pot is just fine on one side, but it doesn't flow right on the other side. The bottle is way better. Hmmm...I need to go use it again, because my nose is still driving me fucking insane.
- Hoodies
- Jenny's special little ball chapsticks. I don't care if it's girly...they're cool, they work well, and they taste good. The brand is like eos or something. I don't know what it stands for. They're cool though. They're like, balls. I don't know. But I may or may not have one of them in my desk at work and one on my nightstand.
- Peppermint bark. It kinda tastes weird after putting on fruity chapstick though. I should've gone for the mint one, but one of Jenny's fruity ones was right by me so I used it. Totally ruined the peppermint bark, but my lips taste good haha.

Ok, that's enough for now. I need to at least start thinking about going to bed.
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I'm still bored, so here's a list of things I've learned recently:

- "Eskimo" is not a term you're supposed to use to describe people. It's Inuit, not Eskimo. I kinda think they'll always be Eskimos to me though.

- When Jenny asks for input on little wedding details, she doesn't really care what I say. She already has her mind made up before she asks me, and she's just going to go with what she wanted in the first place. I guess I already knew this though haha...it's not just a wedding planning thing. I didn't learn it recently. I just took notice of it again recently. I don't really care about the little details, so whatever. It's fine. She cares about what I think when it comes to the bigger things, but the little things? Not so much. And seriously, that's ok with me. It's kinda funny that she always asks though, because I know she doesn't care what my answer will be, so asking me is pointless.

- How I Met Your Mother is pretty amazing. I don't know why I didn't watch that show before. I started watching it a couple months ago, and now I love it. I'm only to season four though. It's taking me a while because I haven't had much free time.

- I hate snow more and more every year.

- Cats spend 2/3 of their lives sleeping and humans spend 1/3 of their lives sleeping. I knew sleeping was a waste of time.

- The first condoms were made of linen in the 1500s. Something tells me they probably weren't too effective. It doesn't sound too comfortable, either...for either person.

- Tom Waits was Heath Ledger's inspiration for his portrayal of The Joker. Not surprising. Tom Waits is fucking weird. And if you YouTube "Tom Waits Joker" a video will come up of an interview where he talks exactly like the Joker and has similar mannerisms.

- Monkeys peel bananas from the bottom. Or squeeze them out, or whatever they do. But they open them from the bottom. Supposedly you don't get banana strings that way.

- People with O blood types are more susceptible to Norovirus.

- Pennyroyal Tea is used for stomach/digestive problems. I never really knew what it was. I just knew the Nirvana song.

- Tard (Grumpy Cat) is a girl. I guess that's semi-common knowledge, but I always thought it was a boy. It looks like a boy cat to me. That cat's face never gets old.

All very useful information, obviously.
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So, I'm working from home today, and by "working from home" I mean watching YouTube videos and doing some work on the side. I got caught up watching all these videos with Seth MacFarlane because he's awesome and hilarious. He's another guy Jenny thinks I'm in love with lol. She watched a couple of videos with me a while ago, and when he was doing Brian's voice, Jenny said, "You know you want to bone Brian." I played along with it a little too much by saying, "I don't want to bone Brian, but I'd suck off Seth," and then realized that sounded even worse out loud than it did in my head. I meant for it to sound bad, but not THAT bad. Anyway, here's my new favorite quote from him (Seth as himself, not as Brian): “That New England/Massachusetts/Rhode Island accent is the most hideous thing on the planet. It’s so awful.” He said that while talking about Peter Griffin's voice. But hey, Seth MacFarlane grew up in Connecticut, and East Connecticut has the same type of accent. Plus he went to college in Rhode Island, and they definitely have the accent. Eastern Mass., eastern Connecticut, and Rhode Island all have it. So he knows it well. It's the Eastern New England accent, and it's pretty fucking godawful.

You all know I'm a self-hating Bostonian haha. Not really...I love the place, hate the accent. The last time I went back to MA I seriously wanted to cringe almost every time I heard someone talk. Ok, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. It was probably only like half of the time. But still. They take away Rs from words that have Rs in them, and add Rs to the end of words that don't have Rs at the end. I like my Rs where they belong. I think that's the part that bugs me the most. That plus the weird, almost nasally tone with some of the vowels. I know there are a few words and sounds that I have a tiny bit of an accent with, but THANK GOD I don't sound like Mark Wahlberg or Peter Griffin or some hybrid of the two.

If work is boring tomorrow maybe I'll just start speaking with a full on Boston accent just to fuck with people. Then again, the two new people are the only ones who would really be weirded out by it. My other employees are used to me doing stupid shit, and so are most of the people in other departments, or at least the people in other departments who work in close proximity to me. I tend to keep my antics in my own department though. I'll get strange looks and reactions from most people at first, but only the new people will think much of it. One day at work I was bored and did something similar. I wasn't bored in the way you're bored when you have nothing to do, because I had plenty to do. I was bored in the ADHD sense. So to keep myself entertained, I'd randomly speak to people in a British accent. I'd talk normally for the most part, and then randomly say a sentence or ask a question in a British accent and then go back to speaking normally. I was highly amused by it, because people didn't know what to think. With a couple of them it's like they were thinking, "Did he REALLY just use a British accent? He couldn't have, he's talking normally now." It's like I could see the back and forth thoughts in their head as they were trying to figure out what the fuck I was doing. It was awesome. Yeah, I think tomorrow will be another day like that. I'm going to add and subtract Rs all over the fucking place. Oh, this woman Linda will be perfect for that. I'll just go up to her and say something like, "Hey Linder, ah ya gonna _________?" (I'll make up the ______ part as I go along), and I need to make sure to tell people that I have an "idear." I'm going to amuse myself by speaking with an accent that annoys me. I'll just ask her something I know the answer to: whether or not she'll be there tomorrow. That will let me use the accent to its full extent. I can say, "Hey Linder, ah ya gonna be hea tomorrah?" Sweet. (Read "Hey Linda, are you going to be here tomorrow?" in Peter Griffin's voice. That's what that sentence would sound like.)

I'm easily amused by stupid things when I'm extremely tired (ok, I'm amused by stupid things almost all the time), and I have a lot of stupid, random thoughts when I'm really tired (ok, that's an almost all the time thing too). That's my excuse for this entry. That brings me to my next point: I need a nap. I got close to no sleep last night because of Ella. That's why I'm not being very productive today. Oh, the joys of fatherhood...

I need Lasik. Well, I guess that's more of a want than a need, but still. One day I'll get past my fear of lasers shooting into my eyes. One day. Until then I'll continue putting plastic things on my eyeballs.

Yeah, forget about a lunch break. I can eat later while I work. It's time for a nap break.
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So...a while ago I tried doing one of those 30 Day meme things as a boredom cure and time killer, and only made it through day four or five...and that was over the course of about ten days lol. But I decided I didn't like that one. It was lame. This one will probably hold my attention better and give me something to do when I'm up really late. I doubt I'll do it every day for 30 days. More like I'll do a couple at a time sometimes (if they're short ones) and skip days and stuff like that. But yeah, the old one sucked. This one is better.

The first day is one of those things pretty much everyone on LJ, ever, has done before. I should just copy and paste an old "20 things about me" post, because I know I've done a couple of them in the last few years...one this year, but those were supposed to be unique things. I've added a few people in the last little while, so for introductory-ish purposes I'll post a few things most of you already know. And some will probably be repeats from another one, I'm sure. But whatever...I'm bored.

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

1. I've been a vegetarian for about 11 years. Something like that.
2. I'm engaged to my ex-wife. There's an incredibly shortened, simplified explanation of our relationship history for the couple newer people haha. Strange, I know.
3. My main job is a pretty uninteresting office job, but I also work a few hours a week at a substance abuse treatment center for kids. I just refer to it as the youth center. We have a residential facility too, but it's separate from the one I work at. Same organization, but separated. So I work in a place that does out-patient treatment, group therapy, meetings, classes, stuff like that.
4. I'm an identical twin, but my twin brother Jeremy died six days before our 20th birthday.
5. I've been playing the guitar for 20ish years, and I love it. I can also play bass, drums, and a little piano, but I mostly stick with guitar.
6. I've been in a shitload of bands. Some lasted for a while, some barely lasted at all. I haven't been in one for years though. Maybe 5 years? Sometimes I kinda miss it.
7. I hate regular cigarettes. They have to be menthol.
8. I'm a pool shark. Close to it, anyway. Maybe not a great white, but at least a hammerhead or something. I wouldn't be able to beat a pro, but I'll play any "regular" player under the table. Clearly I'm very humble haha. I used to like hustling people that way lol. It was pretty fun. Now my conscience kind of gets the best of me though.
9. I can't bowl for shit.
10. I'm like a pregnant woman when it comes to chocolate and ice cream. Meaning I crave those things and eat them constantly.
11. I really want to see a tornado one day. Videos just aren't good enough.
12. I'm fascinated by serial killers. I'm starting to think my neighbor might be one. Not really. But the fact that he has an insanely huge shed and uses a chainsaw for who knows what is a little creepy.
13. I'm not a fan of condiments, as a rule. I like BBQ sauce, and I like ketchup with fries, but that's it. I would never put it on anything else. But all other condiments? Hell no. I don't know if salad dressing counts as a condiment, but none of that either. I've mentioned that before. Salad sucks anyway. Except croutons. I love croutons. Now I want some. Just croutons, no salad.
14. I'm pretty much always drinking Diet Coke. Coffee in the morning, Diet Coke the rest of the day. Really, I almost always have one. I have one sitting next to me right now. In the morning I drink a bunch of coffee, but by 10:30 or 11:00 I always have one on my desk at work. Always. It's rare that I don't have a Diet Coke on my desk. The few times I have been Diet Cokeless at work, I had people comment on it lol. So everyone knows about my Diet Coke habit. Better than the other type of coke habit I had, for sure haha.
15. I talk a lot. I can also be really withdrawn, but overall I talk a lot. I bet you could never tell by how much I ramble on here haha. Never. I blame ADHD. And yes, I really have it! I'm not just one of those people who says "I'm so ADD" without actually having it.
16. Everyone knows I'm obsessed with Friends, but I also really like South Park, Family Guy, House, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, among others. But those are my favorites. Not like I watch a lot of TV or anything...hahaha. Oh, and I'm including this here because it's relevant but not a fact. And like I said, I talk a lot, which translates to typing a lot. Speaking of Friends, Jenny claims the reason I love Chandler so much is because I'm in love with myself (I've been told by multiple people that I remind them of Chandler for quite a few reasons, for those people who haven't heard--well, read--about that). I will neither confirm or deny what Jenny said.
17. I was raised Catholic, but I quit going when I was 13. I think 13, anyway. 13 or 14. Now I'm agnostic. I'm not a big fan of the Catholic church. Actually, I'm not a big fan of organized religion in general.
18. I'm very, very liberal.
19. I like big butts and I cannot lie.
20. I have a deep, burning hatred for Elmo.

The list of questions/topics )
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Just some random stuff. If I babble or if I'm not very coherent, blame the fact that I'm extremely tired. I can't believe this weekend is already over! I'm not ready for the start of the new work week. Ugh. Anyway, here are a few random topics.

- I think it's funny that Mitt Romney didn't want an endorsement from Dick Cheney, yet he got one anyway. Come on now, Mitt...who the fuck did you think Cheney was going to endorse? Cheney should take Romney hunting shortly before the election. I'm against hunting, but if a hunting trip between those two might result in Romney getting shot in the face, I'm all for it.

- Kids who think they're punk but are far from it drive me crazy. Even worse, kids who think they listen to punk music, when what they really listen to is absolute shit that hardly even resembles punk (if it resembles it at all) both irritates me and makes me sad. It's an insult to the real punk genre. A HUGE insult. Sorry, kids, but bands fronted by a guy with dyed black hair swept across his eyes who sounds like he has his nose plugged while he sings "woe is me" type songs are not punk.

- I still hate Viacom. They need to give us back our channels already! Seriously.

- I love that Brian Griffin was a panelist on Real Time with Bill Maher on an episode of Family Guy. I love Bill Maher. He's really good live, too.

- Evan just spent $9.99 on fucking Smurfberries on my phone. Then he threw a fit because I grounded him from playing on my phone for the rest of the week. He can throw as many fits as he wants...that's what he gets. It's not like $9.99 is very much money, because it's not; the point is, I told him he couldn't spend real money on the games. It could be worse, I guess. They have a $99.99 option. Who the FUCK would spend $100 on Smurfberries for a stupid iPhone game? Ridiculous. Next to each Smurfberry barrel it says, "Costs real money." I told him he couldn't buy things on the games he plays on my phone that cost real money, and it clearly says it costs money on the screen. I checked. It's not like he can't read that. So he has been grounded from playing on my phone for a few days now. So for him, the rule is "No playing with Daddy's phone until Thursday." He's not too happy about it.

- I just got a stupid text from a guy I rarely talk to anymore. It says this: "Hey, quick question. I know you don't do this stuff anymore but what's the best way to get high off a benzo? Is it true that dissolving it under your tongue is better than snorting it? I have some klonnies and I'm not sure what I should do." Like I'm going to give someone advice on how to get high. Been there, done that. Not even answering. I'm just going to ignore the text completely. He's not even a friend...just a guy I know. Fucking lame.

- Uggghhh I don't want to interview more people tomorrow. I don't want to interview more people on Tuesday, either. I just want to sit here being lazy all night. I very well may. I'll just get a few hours of sleep. That's not much different than normal.

- I could easily eat a whole box of Nilla Wafers. I don't know what it is about them...I have loved them since I was a tiny kid, and I still think they're de-fucking-licious. So I"ll sit here eating those and doing nothing. I'll regret staying up eating all night, but that's what energy drinks and coffee are for haha.

I'll catch up with you guys tomorrow (or technically today).
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This is a pretty pointless entry. I kinda like those though.

Jenny and I are so childish. I love it. Evan and I keep randomly singing that circus song from Madagascar 3 (sometimes together, sometimes individually), so we have been pretty annoying with it. So I decided to change my ringtone to that song. Well, not my ringtone...my text tone. That way it goes off even more, since I text a lot. So to retaliate, Jenny changed her text tone to "Call Me Maybe" haha. So we've been texting each other back and forth just for the sake of being annoying.

Forget 30s being the new 20s. I think they're the new...10? I don't know haha. But it's fun.

In other news...Wells Fargo pisses me the fuck off. I've been meaning to switch to a credit union for like...two years now, but I keep forgetting and/or being too lazy. That's about all I have to say about that.

I love this meme. I would love to say the same thing to this girl. Good ol' Liam. Speaking of which, I'm excited for Taken 2.


That song is seriously driving me crazy. It has been stuck in my head for SO long! Jenny's text tone is making me want to shoot myself (or her) in the face (or at least in the ears). But I'm not caving. She has to get rid of hers before I get rid of mine!

I'm in super ADHD mode today. Don't be surprised if one of those ADHD-inspired random rambles pops up at some point today.

Oh, and I'm trying to be less shitty of an LJ friend. It's a process, since I've been missing stuff. But now that the drama and tragedy and all of that has subsided, I should be better.

Ella seems to sleep at night a lot better if you hold her. But holding a baby all night long is not very practical, nor is doing it every night very realistic. Last night she woke up screaming, like she does every night, so I held her for a while and eventually got her to go back to sleep. I laid down on the couch with her on my chest and we both slept that way. She stayed asleep for over four hours. Almost five. That is incredibly rare. It seems like when one of us sleeps with her this way she sleeps better, but seriously...that can't happen very often. She still won't sleep in her crib. She'll only sleep in her bassinet. She'll probably be too big for that thing soon, so she's going to have to learn to sleep in her crib. Gotta love fussy babies. Beyond fussy babies. Sleeping like that last night was nice though. I was feeling a little depressed, and holding her like that for so long made me feel a lot better. It was no big deal...everything is fine now. I was just feeling a little down. But I'm better now. I'm giving Ella credit for that one.
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This entry is going to be completely pointless. I just feel like sitting around being lazy until we have to leave for the BBQ at Jenny's parents' house. It's Father's Day, so I can. I'm not moving until we have to go. I'm going to sit on my ass drinking my Diet Coke, writing about butt shaking.

I got smacked for Father's Day! Jokingly smacked, but still smacked! I get in these super hyper, obnoxious ADHD type moods sometimes (thank you, ADHD! Sometimes you're cool!), and I was in one a little while ago. So I decided it would be a good idea to do an impression of Beyonce. I was singing "Bootylicious" to Jenny and doing some stupid little dance. Then I decided to go dance on her and rub my butt against her for the sake of the song. I told her I didn't think she was ready for this jelly. She laughed at me and then told me that I have no ass, so I was singing the wrong song. I responded with, "That's ok, you have more than enough ass for the both of us," and got smacked lol. Just in the arm, jokingly. She pretended to be appalled and offended, but she wasn't. She knows I was kidding. Besides, I like big butts and I cannot lie. Jenny does have a big butt, but it's pretty amazing. I love it. She has a very nice ass. Aside from her face, it was actually the first thing I noticed about her when I first met her lol. So then I proceeded to rap "Baby Got Back" to her. She knows she loved it. It got even better though. Evan came in when I was singing/rapping/whatever you want to call it, and joined in. He yelled, "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!" Jenny and I busted out laughing lol. She asked "How do you know that song?!" He replied with, "How do you think?" and looked and motioned at me. Jenny just laughed and shook her head. Hahaha. Then Evan went "Shake it! Shake it! Shake that healthy butt! Baby got back" and did a little butt-shaking dance. Jenny laughed and said, "You're your father's son, alright." Damn right. I have taught him well. Then it got even better again. Evan said, "I think it's a good thing that Dad was singing that song to you, Mom. I've heard him say you have a nice ass." I fucking lost it laughing lol. Jenny just looked at me and said, "CHRISTOPHER!" Hahahahaha. I am highly amused today. Then she told me I'm lucky it's Father's Day. Haha.

I'll shut up now. We have to leave in like 15 or 20 minutes. I just felt like sharing my ass shaking adventures with you guys.
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You know, I was thinking about random things today to try to take my mind off other things, and I realized that Jenny and I have conversations about very, very strange things on a fairly regular basis. So, here's a list of strange things we've talked about recently (and yes, most of these topics of conversation were brought up by me haha). And these are only ones I can think of right now, off the top of my head, so I'm sure there were many more weird topics:

- Kangaroo sex (I mentioned this one in a previous entry)
- Flying squirrel sex
- Snail sex (we're still not sure how that works)
- Sugar glider races
- Riding ostriches, SNES Donkey Kong Country style
- Someone wearing one of those old-fashioned glass contacts being punched in the eye, breaking the glass contact, which would cause the glass shards to cut their eye.
- Dyeing roosters' mohawk feathers different colors
- Furries in the form of Disney characters (specifically how wrong it would be to see Mickey fucking Pluto)
- Whether it would be worse to drown in water or in Jell-O (I didn't like this one, because like I've mentioned before, I have a fear of drowning.)
- Making painted ladies (like they have at the Playboy mansion) into strange animals. My favorite was an owl: her breasts would be giant owl eyes (so she'd have to have huge, clearly fake, abnormally spherical ones), and it would have a beak a little longer than normal, which came to a point at the bottom of her pubic area. That was my idea. Obviously.
- How I'm not allowed to use the glue gun anymore. The particular incident that got me banned happened a long time ago, but Jenny was doing some kind of craft thing, and I ruined stuff, burnt myself a few times, burnt Jenny when she tried to "assist" me, and got it all over the counter. So I'm banned.
- How there are sex swings, but you never hear of sex slides or sex see-saws (and for the record, I was not saying it was a good idea or anything I'd be interested in lol).
- Gary Busey. Enough said.
- A fish (willingly) giving a blowjob and whether or not they'd be good at it, because of the fish lips and no teeth. It had to be a fish with no teeth. No piranhas or anything like that. Fuck that.
- Which one of us would look better with an Afro. We decided neither of us, and went with Ella.
- How sex between a midget and someone as tall as a really tall basketball player would be really awkward.
- Which of Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriends (specifically the ones from Girls Next Door) is the hottest. We both agreed on Holly. I guess that's not really very weird though...we always talk about stupid things like that. Then she asked me which one I'd rather us have a threesome with, hypothetically (and no, Jenny and I don't have threesomes). I said Kendra, because she'd be the most fun. Jenny said Bridget, because "she's the oldest one and not as cute as the others...although she's still really cute...so I'd feel better about it" haha.
- Which Disneyland ride we'd want to have sex on, if we wouldn't get banned from Disneyland forever and no one would see. We both agreed on Pirates of the Caribbean. Mostly because it's the longest ride (except for Small World, which is probably close to as long, but who wants to be surrounded by creepy dolls while having sex? Especially creepy dolls singing that song.) But we also said it would be cool to be surrounded by pirates. We decided our favorite part would be while you're floating on the water during the cannon battle. The hill might be interesting. We were also talking about how it should be her on top, lap-sitting style, at least during the hills. TMI, I know. But it would be interesting, to say the least. Quite an adventure.
- If apes have sex in more positions than other animals do, like humans, since they're human-like with similar builds (compared to other animals).

Ok, looking at that list, I started almost every single one of those conversations. Jenny just started the ones about the glue gun, water vs. Jell-O, the Girls Next Door, and surprisingly the fish blowjob one. I was quite proud of her for that one.

Wow, I hadn't noticed how much we talk about strange sexual things lol. We really do have some of the strangest conversations ever.
xxmadsenxx: (Default)
I copied this from a friend here because I'm bored as fuck. So, I'll try to think of actual weird (or semi-weird) facts, instead of just facts.

Weird facts about me:

1. I hate salad dressing and I refuse to eat it. Maybe that's part of why I don't really like salad...plain old lettuce isn't that great.
2. I refuse to go on a cruise, because I'm afraid of shipwrecks lol. I'm afraid of the ocean in general. Drowning, freezing, sharks...all of it.
3. I know all the lyrics to just about every Britney Spears song there is. Not even just the singles. All of them. This is NOT by choice. It's Jenny's fault, because she's obsessed with her and plays her CDs non-stop. After years of that, you start memorizing it. Add Justin Timberlake to that, too. At least he has considerably less songs. I don't really mind either of them, but I would never choose to listen to them. If I had to choose to listen to one or the other, I think I'd choose Justin Timberlake. But once again, I would not choose either of them with my own free will.
4. My hair has been every color of the rainbow. Way back in the day.
5. I was in the gifted children's program in elementary school, believe it or not. By the time I got to junior high, my grades went waaaaayyy down lol. I blame my shitty grades in junior high and high school on drugs and alcohol though. So at least I have an excuse, kind of. I was still smart, but I skipped school all the time and didn't do my work. Yes, I actually am fairly intelligent, regardless of how I may come across here lol.
6. My late brother and I are one of two sets of twins in my family. My cousins are fraternal twins though. Jeremy and I were identical. Jenny has two sets of twins in her family, too...both fraternal. With genes like that, thank God we didn't have twins.
7. I'm very allergic to horses. I can't even be around them.
8. I can't stand regular cigarettes. I have to smoke menthols. I guess that's not really a weird fact, but it's a fact.
9. I WILL NOT touch mushrooms unless they're psychedelic. Although I don't do any drugs anymore, so I guess I should say I just won't touch mushrooms, period. But back in the day, those were the only type I'd touch. No psilocybin? No mushrooms.
10. While we're on the subject of foods I won't touch, I refuse to eat refried beans. The texture makes me sick. If something I'm eating even so much as touches them, I won't eat that part of it. I'm really weird about the texture of things.
11. I was an acolyte as a kid. For those of you who don't know, it's a church thing. A Catholic/Anglican (Episcopalian) thing, specifically, although I don't know if other religions do it. They're the people who carry candles and crosses and shit during the processional, and you have to wear stupid robes and a cross. I was raised Catholic, but decided I didn't believe in it when I was 13 and quit going to church. My mom wasn't too happy about that at first, haha.
12. The last meat I ever ate was a hamburger from Wendy's. Not the greatest way to go out, haha.
13. I'm a huge Disney nerd for someone my age. Especially for a guy my age. It runs in the family though. Jenny's family is full of Disney dorks too, so it works.
14. When I drive, the volume on the car stereo has to be on an even number.
15. Jenny says I have girly handwriting. Yet another way I'm "girly." Although that just counts as girly; it's not one of my "gay" qualities haha. Or is it? Maybe. I suppose it could be.
16. I won the sixth grade spelling bee. See? I really was a child genius! Ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration. Actually, it's a pretty big exaggeration. I was a smart kid though. Evan gets that from me. Hahaha. Just kidding. Jenny is really smart too, and always has been.
17. I won't go on ferris wheels. Well, except for the one at Disney's California Adventure, because that's not a normal ferris wheel. Still, I'll only go on the swinging carts on that one. Ferris wheels freak me out. I'm afraid of heights though, so that explains it. I love all other amusement park rides, especially roller coasters, but FUCK ferris wheels.
18. I'm a space geek. The universe fascinates me.
19. I can't go under water without plugging my nose. This goes back to the ocean thing. If I were stuck in the middle of the ocean, I would fucking drown.
20. Speaking of the ocean, I don't like salt. I don't salt anything.

Pet Peeves

Jun. 7th, 2012 09:26 pm
xxmadsenxx: (Default)
For some reason I feel like making a list of pet peeves. This is not a complete list. Not even close. But these are some of the first things that come to mind. I've done this before, but I feel like doing it again. Some of these will be repeats, but not all.

- People who chew with their mouths open
- People who don't use their turn signals
- People who take for-fucking-ever to turn at a green arrow when you're waiting to turn left, causing everybody else to miss the light. I hate left-hand turns in general. They piss me off.
- The misuse of "your" and "you're"
- Not having any extra guitar strings when I break one. I usually always have extras, and it's not like I break them all the time, but when that does happen it drives me crazy.
- Not being able to find a lighter when I need one. Lighters are so easy to lose.
- Blurry and/or uncomfortable contacts
- Shows like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives of ______. Anything in that genre.
- One-word text messages. Especially when they're in succession.
- Guidos and Guidettes
- Meatheads
- Strong Boston accents. I wrote a whole entry about this once lol. Even though I'm originally from Boston and lived there for the first 20 years of my life, strong Boston accents bother me.
- For that matter, so do strong Jersey accents. Long Island, too. But those two are basically the same.
- People who let their little kids walk around with really dirty or snotty faces. Come on, it's not that hard to wipe their faces off. That's gross. Especially snotty faces.
- When the guide on the TV says something is on, but it's really something entirely different. That doesn't happen very often, but when it does it's annoying.
- Snow and everything that comes with it. But that's not an issue right now, since it's summer.
- Running out of cigarettes at night, early in the morning, or when I'm feeling too lazy to go buy more. Actually, just running out of cigarettes in general.
- People who try to argue about vegetarianism with me. Eat your meat and shut the fuck up. I really don't care.
- The fact that so many TV channels that used to be good have gone to shit. Good examples of this: The History Channel and MTV. They're the biggest culprits.
- People who resort to personal attacks when debating politics because they don't know what the fuck they're talking about and can only pull stuff out of their ass. I'm fine with people who have different political views, and sometimes I like discussing and/or debating politics, but not with people who have no idea what the fuck they're talking about and throw out demeaning comments. If you're going to argue a point, be able to back it up.
- Ann Coulter
- People going under the speed limit, especially on the freeway
- People who completely butcher the English language
- Text speak(txt spk)
- Scene kids who think they're punk. You are not fucking punk. The shit you listen to is not punk rock. Go borrow your girlfriend's jeans, sweep your hair across your face, and cry in a corner somewhere. The stuff some people call punk nowadays is such a huge insult to true punk. It makes me sad. It's quite sickening.
- Lady Gaga
- LJ (and anything else on the computer, for that matter) deleting shit after I write it
- When I accidentally hit "back" or fuck up what I'm writing by moving the cursor or hitting some button or something. However it happens, it's annoying.
- When you're eating peanut M&Ms and get a random bad peanut

I guess that's good enough for now. That was longer than I expected it to be anyway. I have a lot of pet peeves lol. Seriously, that's not even all of them. Maybe I'm becoming an old curmudgeon. Probably.

Spice-Off

May. 31st, 2012 11:29 pm
xxmadsenxx: (Default)
So...B and I are stupid and immature and decided to have what we called a "spice-off." Well, back up first. B's girlfriend is half Mexican. Her mom is actually from Mexico, and she learned how to make fucking AMAZING Mexican food from her. Too bad all she made was salsa today. Anyway, today she was over at our house, and she and B were making fresh salsa...which meant that she was making salsa and B was sitting there watching her and bullshitting with me haha. The salsa is what gave us the idea to have our spice off. She asked us how hot we wanted it, and we both said "really hot" at the same time. Then B and I started debating over who could handle spicy food better. So we had a contest. She put the normal salsa aside, then made us special salsa. It was hot, but we both said to make it hotter. She made it hotter, we said to make it hotter again. Then again, then again. I don't know exactly what she was doing to it because I wasn't really watching her...I was watching B to make sure he actually ate it all. Oh, part of the contest rules were that we weren't allowed to drink anything. We decided to move from the salsa round to the next round, which was peppers.

She offered us jalapenos. We each ate one, looked at each other, and simultaneously said "Nah"...which in our language meant "way too easy." Jalapenos really aren't very hot. I don't really like jalapenos, either. So we moved onto the next option. Serranos. We each ate one of those and decided they were definitely hotter than the jalapenos, but not too hot. So then she pulled out a habanero. She said she was going to de-rib it and cut out the seeds first. We told her not to, and she looked as us like we were crazy. We told her we each wanted one. She looked at us like we were crazy again. Then she said, "There's no way either of you can eat a whole habanero plain. Just trust me. You can't. I'll cut it in half. You guys won't get past the first bite." Her saying that made it even more of a challenge. We said we each wanted our own, so she said "Ok, suit yourselves" and handed one to each of us. We counted to three and took a bite. B spit it out almost immediately lol. He chewed it once, if that. I had the urge to spit it out, but I wanted to win. So I chewed it one more time and then hurried and swallowed it. B ran to get water, and I just yelled, "No, milk!" Water is a bad idea...just makes it worse. With spicy things, always go for the milk. We drank so much fucking milk it's insane. I don't even really like drinking milk, but I drank a shitload of it. Then we went for the ice cream when milk wasn't enough. Jenny walked in, looked at the remaining peppers, and then at both of us diving into the carton of ice cream like crazy with our eyes watering and everything and just laughed at us lol. I would have laughed too, I'm sure. Jenny and B's girlfriend thought it was hilarious.

I'm not laughing now though! I won, but I'm paying for it. I have heartburn like crazy, my mouth feels like it's on fire, my eyes are still bugging me a little bit (especially my right one...it's not a good idea to touch your eye after eating hot peppers), and I feel sick to my stomach. Seriously, my mouth has never burned this much in my entire life lol. Lucky B...he doesn't have to deal with the digestive troubles since he didn't swallow his. God dammit, Chris...you're so stupid sometimes. (Yes, I'm speaking to myself in third-person.)

Note to self: Do not attempt another spice-off. Even if you win the contest, you will lose in the end.

This was one of the stupidest entries I have ever written, but I needed to share my victory. Now it's documented, so I have proof of my victory.

Uggghhhh I feel like my whole digestive tract is being burned alive. And my mouth? It might as well literally be on fire right now. And my eyes...ahhhhhhhhhh. Fuck. I washed my hands a bunch of times to MAKE SURE it was all off my hands, then took out my contacts. Having that stuff stuck in your eye is not a good idea. I threw those contacts away, because they were tainted with peppers. The eye I stupidly touched is bright red right now and burns like I don't even fucking know. Good thing I just got jalapeno or serrano in my eye, not habanero. It happened before we ate the habaneros. I'd probably be blind if I got habanero in my eye. But it still fucking hurts. I tried flushing it out with water and that helped a little bit. Now I just keep putting eye drops in it. Jenny has been laughing at my misfortune the whole time haha. Whatever, she's just jealous. She WISHES she could do what I did.
xxmadsenxx: (Default)
Time for a more light-hearted entry. Just another one of my random entries about (mostly) pointless things.

- Most music right now sucks. I can't stand most mainstream music nowadays. The past few years it has just become absolutely awful. And this dubstep craze? I don't get it. I sound old. I kind of am though, so whatever. Today's music sucks, overall. So much of it is just pure shit.

- I put together the stroller today. It's not like we'll need a stroller in the next few weeks, since you don't really take babies out like that at first. But I figured I might as well just get it done now. I wanted to do something productive. Evan helped me. Well, kind of. Then he decided he should sit in it. I told him he was way too big, but he did it anyway. It didn't work out very well for him haha. It's a stroller for small babies and really young kids, not a little kid stroller...umbrella stroller or whatever they're called. It's a baby stroller. So watching him try to sit in it was pretty entertaining.

- The History Channel sucks now. It used to be good. Now most of it has absolutely nothing to do with history.

- Speaking of channels, they should make a social and behavioral sciences channel. Like psychology, sociology, and that type of stuff. There are SO many things they could do with that. Way more than people might think. I know I'd watch it. Hmmm...maybe I should figure out how to start a major television network and become filthy rich.

- So-called "kids' cereals" are so much better than most "adult cereals."

- I don't care if it's healthy or unhealthy...aspartame is delicious. Without my Diet Coke I would be a very sad panda.

- Lighters are the easiest thing to lose in the entire world. I think some kind of asshole lighter stealing gnome lives at my house.

- If sad pandas and gnomes who steal things are the first things that come to my mind, I clearly watch too much South Park. Not as much as Friends though.

- Speaking of Friends, I wish I could go live in that show.

- I just realized that I haven't been playing guitar at all lately. That's not normal for me. Not at all. That sucks, because I won't have as much time for it starting a few days from now. Oh well. It's not like it's going anywhere, and it's not like I'll forget how to play. After playing for 20 years I don't really get too rusty, so it's all good.

- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are still fucking awesome and always will be. Evan loves them, so I have taught him well. I may or may not secretly really enjoy being able to buy and play with Ninja Turtles toys. Whatever, Jenny will be the same way with Barbies. I KNOW she wants to play Barbies. She was sad that her daughter never really got into them. She liked similar things, but was never a big Barbie fan. I'm pretty sure Ella will be coaxed into playing with Barbies from a very young age.

- Jenny is so funny. I went into our bedroom a little while ago and found her in bed doing a full face of makeup. I mean like, the dark smoky eye type stuff. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was bored and thought doing her makeup sounded like fun. She also said she wanted to feel pretty, because she doesn't. That made me feel really sad. So of course I told her that she's beautiful, and of course I complimented her makeup (Jenny is kind of a makeup freak and she's actually really, really good at it). I tell her that she's beautiful all the time though. Not just when she feels bad. I mean all the time. Not in an excessive way, but on a regular basis. It makes me sad that she doesn't think that about herself. Ok, that part wasn't light-hearted haha.

- As nervous and anxious as I am, I am so excited to meet Ella on Monday. SO excited. Elated. This might sound incredibly cheesy, but I seriously can't wait to hold my little girl for the first time. It's kind of like a butterfly feeling.

- The next Star Trek movie needs to come out already! Hmmm...maybe I'll go watch the last one. I'm such a nerd...I never get sick of it. Jenny likes it, too. I think that's mostly because she likes looking at Chris Pine though lol.

- I really want a giant banana split right now. Not just a banana split. A fucking giant one. Jenny and I are both ice cream junkies, and there's this place we go to that has HUGE ones. I mean huge. So we split it, and it's still a ton. They have smaller ones, which are still pretty big, but we always get the giant one because it's fucking amazing. Epic, even...and that's not a word I use very often. Damn, I really want to go there now. Forget about any drug cravings. It's all about the ice cream. Ok, I need to at least go get a bowl of ice cream right this second. I'm really going to. Right now. Otherwise I'll go into total fiend mode.

- NO FUCKING WAY. I just went to get some ice cream, and we are somehow completely out. That very rarely happens. We usually keep a pretty good stock. But we don't have ANY. Fuuuucccckkkkk. I'm too lazy to go to the store right now though. I guess I'll just suffer.
xxmadsenxx: (Default)
Jenny is watching The Voice in the background, and Evan is playing with his cousin, so I'll sit here writing about pointless, random things. I keep saying "his cousin or second cousin or whatever" and things like that. He's my cousin's kid. So is that second cousin, or first cousin once removed? I don't understand that stuff! Anyway, when I say Evan's cousin, that's who it is. No more explanations that don't explain anything. I don't even know why I'm writing about this. It doesn't really matter.

Speaking of The Voice, I think Christina Aguilera seems like she'd be a huge bitch. I have thought that for years, but this show just makes me think so even more. It's not because of her responses to the singers. Those are fine. It's her overall attitude. She just seems like a hoity toity bitch who thinks she's better than everyone else. I just don't like her overall demeanor. Her voice is amazing, for sure. But she needs to shrink her head a bit. I could be wrong. Maybe she's very nice. But she bugs me. It also bugs me when she tries to sound tough and ghetto-ish. She does that sometimes, and it's irritating. But I mostly just can't stand her attitude. She's pretty hot though. Wow, I really am writing about stupid things.

I'm still really sad about House ending. Dude, if they kill him off I will seriously cry. Not even kidding. Real fucking tears. Jenny claims I'm "gay for all the guys on House's team." Whatever. I love them. Not Taub though. And of course I love all the girls. Especially Thirteen. I've said this many times before, but Olivia Wilde is fucking gorgeous.
Jenny also said I'm "gay for Obama." I'm sorry if I offend anyone saying that stuff. I'm just repeating what she said. And it's in a joking around way...not serious at all. I just thought of that because now To Kill A Mockingbird is on and President Obama said a short little thing before it started. The double standard is kind of funny. Jenny can say a girl is hot and think nothing of it, but if I happen to say a guy is good looking, I'm suddenly gay lol. She doesn't really mean that though. You can tell if someone is good looking or not, regardless of their sex. It doesn't mean you're attracted to them. Well this paragraph went all over the place.

I don't feel like watching this right now. I'm not really watching it...I'm not right by Jenny at the moment, or I wouldn't be on here haha. I should just go somewhere else. It's a good movie, and I know it's a classic, but I don't feel like watching it. I like the book better anyway.

Speaking of reading, I should stop talking about pop culture and go read or something, before I start losing brain cells.

*Added 90 minutes later:
I didn't read. Too ADD.

I hate those anti-smoking commercials. I know smoking is really bad for you, but I don't want to see people with voice boxes and shit. It's disturbing. I know it's a possible consequence of smoking, but still. It's not THAT common. But I just hate those commercials. One was just on TV, so Evan came up to me and started talking to me about smoking. Here's how that convo went:

Evan: Daddy, I want you to stop smoking. I don't want you to have a hole in your throat and talk like a robot. (That last part was kinda funny lol.)
Me: I'll try, bud. (I didn't know what to say. I wasn't going to promise to quit immediately.)
Evan: When?
Me: In a few months, probably.
Evan: Why not now?
Me: Now just isn't a good time.
Evan: Why?
Me: Just stress and stuff.
Evan: Smoking is really bad for you, Dad.
Me: I know.
Evan: Then why do you do it?
Me: Because I made a really bad decision when I was younger and started smoking. Once you start, it's hard to stop. Don't you ever, ever start smoking.
Evan: I won't. Why is it so hard to stop?
Me: I don't really know how to explain it. It's just really hard. But I'll try to quit pretty soon.
Evan: So you promise you'll quit in a few months?
Me: I promise that I'll try.
Evan: Ok, thank you.

Kids ask so many questions haha. It's sweet that he's concerned for my health though.
xxmadsenxx: (Default)
I'm [barely] running on literally no sleep, so I figured I'd post one of my random rambling entries about absolutely nothing of any importance. These are usually insomnia-inspired, but this one is inspired by sleep deprivation. I guess that's similar.

- I can't believe it's already August. That's insane.

- LJ really needs to get their shit together. This thing has been fucked up for a while now. It's getting kind of annoying.

- I need to do laundry so bad. I really hate doing laundry. Like...REALLY hate it. I suppose it would make sense to do at least one load right now, since I'm awake and not doing anything at the moment. But nah...it can wait. Jenny usually does like three-quarters of the laundry, but I'm kind of trying to take care of things around the house right now while she's recovering from her surgery. I guess she's basically recovered by now, because it's not like it was major surgery. But still. Next week she can do all the laundry she wants though. Seriously. Sex too. If she's up to it, of course. Except we'll still have to take it slow for a couple of weeks. But after that, hopefully we're good to go!

- God, I'm tired.

- Coffee is amazing. I need to go drink a cup, or five. On the subject of caffeine, they should make a version of Diet Coke with more caffeine.

- I have always wondered why "pterodactyl" is spelled with a "p". My son is watching one of the 5,000 Land Before Time movies in the other room, so that's what made me think about that.

- It's kind of interesting how people make way more money and gain a ton of fame after they die. Yes, I'm referring to Amy Winehouse. But this is true a lot of the time. She's just the most recent example.

- Jenny is watching E! News. I hate this shit. And that Giuliana girl or whatever her name is bugs the hell out of me for some reason. She always watches that channel, and most of the stuff on there is just beyond stupid. I swear, I don't even know who half of the people they talk about are. And you know what? I'm fine with that.

- I just got an e-mail update on my phone about a coworker. She gave birth to twins this morning. I really want another baby sometime soon, but I don't think I could handle twins. Let alone more than twins. I'm sorry, but fuck that.

- I seem to swear a lot more when I'm tired. Interesting. Tired, driving, mad, or upset in some other way. It definitely does come out a lot when I'm tired though. I had never thought about that before. At least I don't think I have thought about that before. Hmmm. Who knows.

That's probably enough for now.

**Edited to add: It's kind of weird that I said that about twins, seeing as how I'm a twin. Maybe that's why I said it, haha. Who knows.
xxmadsenxx: (Default)
- I am so bored. There is seriously nothing to do.
- I'm home alone, which rarely happens. It should be a nice break, but instead I'm bored as fuck. I'm not used to having this much time and space to myself.
- Jenny is having a mommy/daughter day with her daughter. They went shopping, then to dinner, and right now they're at a movie. She'll be home in like two hours, but that doesn't help my boredom now. Oh well. I'm glad she's doing things like that with her daughter.
- My brother is at his girlfriend's house, and will most likely stay over there tonight.
- B is at a friend's going away party. A close friend of his is moving out of state, so I made an exception to the curfew rule and told him he could stay out until 1:00 tonight. I think that's reasonable. He'd better not do anything stupid. I don't think he will though...he seems pretty set on maintaining his sobriety, and so far, so good.
- Evan is having a sleepover at his best friend's house.
- So yeah...I'm home alone and bored as hell.
- Boredom and ADD are a bad mix.
- I played video games for a while, then got bored of it. I don't have the attention span to watch a movie or read or do anything that requires sustained attention right now. I can't think of anything else to do, so I'll sit here and bitch instead haha. Well, not all bitching. Rambling about pointless things, too.

/bitch fest

Enough bitching about being bored. Now I'll just ramble about random things.

- I suppose I could go make bombs out of some of the leftover fireworks we have...we bought way too many. But I'd feel kind of lame making bombs by myself at my age lol. And somehow I don't think my neighbors would appreciate it. Well, a couple of them anyway. The others wouldn't mind.
- The criminal justice system is fucked up and should be renamed...it's anything BUT just. I'm just going to leave it at that right now, or this will turn into a long rant about how fucked up it is.
- There are WAY too many reality and competition shows. I swear, they make up like 75% of everything on TV. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but there are way too many.
- I think it's weird that society thinks it's ok for cats to get high off of catnip, yet marijuana is stigmatized and people are prohibited from smoking it. Wikipedia's explanation of catnip's main purpose is pretty funny. It says that catnip "is mostly used as a recreational drug for pet cats' enjoyment." It just seems strange to me that it's ok for cats to get high off of recreational drugs, while most states don't even allow people to use marijuana for medicinal purposes, let alone recreational ones.
- Tea baggers make me mad, but at the same time they make me laugh because they're so fucking stupid. Everything they say is ridiculously asinine.
- I have heard Britney Spears' Femme Fatale CD way more than any guy should ever have to. Well, I guess some guys like it, but whatever...not many. I've heard it way, way, WAY too many times. I'm pretty sure I have it memorized. But Jenny loves Britney Spears and listens to it all the time. Including in my car. So I'm forced to listen to it too. Oh, the things you do for love...
- Diet Coke and cigarettes make me happy.

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