xxmadsenxx: (Default)
The Smurfs movie was HORRIBLE. It was just as bad as I thought it would be. Evan loved it though, so I guess that's all that matters. As soon as we got home from the movie the other day he said he wanted to see it again. Jenny's daughter is staying with us for the weekend, and luckily she wants to see it (for a second time) too. So Jenny is taking them to see it tonight. I opted out, of course. Normally I wouldn't choose to stay home instead of spending time with Evan, Jenny and her daughter, but fuck that...I'm not sitting through that movie again. I'm not exaggerating, it really was that bad. Besides, alone time is nice. I don't get it very often.

Changing the subject...

Jenny's surgery seems to have worked as far as pain goes. She's not having any of the pains she was having before, and sex doesn't hurt her now. It did a little the first time, but still less than before the surgery. But we have had sex quite a few times since then, and she said it doesn't hurt at all anymore. It was just the first time. So things are picking up and going back to normal there. Thank God! We're both pretty damn happy about that.

I'm pretty excited about this alone time. I'm going to sit here for the next few hours doing absolutely nothing, and it's going to be fabulous. I'm in bed with my laptop just watching TV and not moving, and it's going to stay that way until they get home. I seriously don't even plan on getting out of bed until then. Not even for a cigarette. Well, I say that now...but who knows. If I do get up, it will only be for that reason.

Hopefully the kids will go to bed relatively early tonight so Jenny and I can have some alone time, now that the sex problem is solved. We've been taking full advantage of it all week. I guess it really doesn't matter when the kids go to bed. But the earlier they go to bed, the more time we have alone together. So I hope it's not too late.
xxmadsenxx: (Default)
It's kinda funny yet sad that I had to come home early because Jenny got upset after watching one of those Kardashian shows. Well, I didn't have to, but she was upset and I was able to leave early, so I did. I didn't really know what the hell was going on, so I texted B and asked him to distract Evan by playing video games or something so that I could talk to Jenny. She really watches E! way too much. It was the show with Khloe (WHY do I have to know their names?) and her husband. I hate shit like that. But anyway, she gave me a summary of the episode. Khloe wants to get pregnant, and she went to the doctor and found out that she might have endometriosis. She's worried that she won't be able to have a baby because of it, and talks about how a lot of women with endometriosis can't get pregnant. Then she finds out that she doesn't have it. The subject matter upset Jenny, since it hit close to home. But getting upset over a fucking Kardashian show? Seriously? Of all shows to have an emotional reaction to?

She said "What if I can't get pregnant again, or if I have another miscarriage?" And then she said something ridiculous: "Khloe was saying she was afraid because a lot of husbands leave if their wives can't get pregnant. I don't want that to happen." My response was kind of insensitive, I guess. But I really couldn't believe that stupid show upset her so much. I said "That's stupid. You're really this upset because of Khloe Kardashian's stupid show? Seriously?" Then she said "You don't have to be an asshole about it. It's not the show, it's the subject matter." So I apologized. She said "I'm just afraid. Just, what if I can't have another baby? What would happen then?" I was still thinking "this is so fucking stupid", but of course I didn't say that. I told her she had nothing to be afraid of, and that nothing would happen if she couldn't have another baby. I said it was stupid that the thought of me leaving her because of that would even cross her mind. She told me to stop saying everything was stupid. I realized I shouldn't have phrased it that way and apologized. I told her that I would never leave her because of something like that, even if Evan wasn't here and we could never have any kids at all. I really don't see how she could think I would do that. I don't know if she's just being insecure and worrying because she's upset or if she's kind of milking it, because sometimes she's just overly dramatic for no good reason. Not as much as she used to be, but it still happens sometimes. I don't think she does it on purpose all the time, but I think it's at least partially intentional sometimes. Either way, she's blowing things way out of proportion. I can understand worrying about not being able to have another baby just because we both really want one, but worrying about that other shit is just stupid.

We both want another baby, but if we can't have one it's not the end of the world. I'm happy with the one we have. Plus there's always the adoption option. But I think she'll be able to have more kids. Her doctor said that she shouldn't have trouble with it after the surgery. I mean, it's not a 100% guarantee. But even her doctor said she shouldn't worry about it, so she really shouldn't worry as much as she does. It's not like today is the first time she's been worried about that...she worries about it quite a bit. That and miscarrying again. I think that's a big concern for both of us. I've said this many times before, but the second miscarriage was way harder than the first one since she was almost 15 weeks pregnant when it happened. Neither of us want to go through that again, but if it happens, it happens. I really hope it won't, but there's nothing we can do about it. I honestly think everything will be fine now though.

Women are weird sometimes.

Well, I'm off to go see that stupid Smurfs movie.
xxmadsenxx: (Default)
Jenny had her surgery yesterday, and it went well. I'm glad they could do laparoscopic surgery, since it's more of a minor surgery that way. She has three little incisions. They're not big at all though. This surgery is often out-patient, but sometimes they'll keep women in the hospital for a night or two for observation. It just depends on the severity, any complications or potential complications, and seriousness of the surgery. They decided to keep Jenny overnight. She got to come home early this afternoon. They kept her for observation because of her history of reproductive type problems and because she had a lot of scar tissue and stuff that they had to remove from different areas. So they went all over her entire pelvic region looking for and removing adhesions and scar tissue. It was all over. They removed it from her uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, and parts of her pelvis wall. Sorry if all of that is TMI.

She should be ok to move around a little in a few days, but she'll definitely need some help the first little while. That's ok, I'm more than happy to do anything I can to help. I took off the next week of work, and told them I might need to extend that time off depending on how it goes. She won't be totally recovered for 2 to 3 weeks, if I remember right. That's not too long, but it still sucks.

And of course there's my semi-selfish male-minded reason I'm excited for her full recovery: sex. Like I wrote about before, we have still been having sex the past few months...it has just had to be very vanilla, because it otherwise it hurts her. So I'm excited for our sex lives to go back to normal within the next months. At least I hope that happens!

I'm really hoping that the surgery will allow her to have an easier time getting pregnant and have less miscarriages. Maybe now we'll actually be able to have another baby. So that's an exciting prospect of it all.

But anyway...Jenny is doing well. There were no complications or anything. She has just been resting a lot. She's really fatigued, and told me she's "woozy". I can tell she's definitely not a pill popper because she's always stumbling when she's walking around on the stuff. I think the pain killers have helped with the pain a lot though. She needs them.

I'm glad pain killers are something she has never had a problem with. She doesn't really like the way they make her feel, and she sometimes takes even less than her prescribed dosage. She takes ibuprofen when she can, and only uses the prescription opiate pills when ibuprofen isn't enough. It's crazy how much different she treats pharmaceuticals than my brothers and I. The fact that she doesn't take them all and has leftovers is foreign to us. I'm very happy that she's not like that though. Not happy about the fact that they make her feel sick, but happy about the fact that she doesn't abuse them or even think of abusing them. Even though she doesn't use them all, I would NEVER take them from my wife, or from anyone I know really needs them for legit purposes. Now that I've been clean from everything for so long I wouldn't even have the desire to take them from anyone. Even when I was a complete fiend, when I would try to get my hands on anything I could, that was a line I didn't cross...you don't steal from family, friends, loved ones, or people who have a genuine need for the stuff. EVER. But the extra pills she has around do not even bother me. I'm not even phased by their presence. That may seem like something small, but it's a pretty big and pretty pleasing landmark thing for me.

Anyway, back to Jenny. She's kind of all over the place when she walks around and she's obviously not all there right now, haha. Just really hazy. I'm sure that will subside a bit tomorrow.

I'm sure I wrote some stuff that doesn't make sense, or I'm probably all over the place, but I'm running on hardly any sleep, so I'm out of it. If it's bad, at least it's still readable haha.

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April 2013

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