I'm going to a show tomorrow and I'm pretty stoked about it. It's for the old guitarist (besides me) and bassist of one of my old bands. They have a new band now. They asked me if I wanted to be in it a couple years ago, but I said no. For one thing, I don't really have time. And that was before Ella. Now I have even less time. And for another thing, at this point in my life I'm not comfortable frequenting the bar scene. I don't think that will ever change, really, but who knows. Earlier this year they asked me if they could play a few of our old songs sometimes. I'm glad they asked, because I wrote a lot of them. The majority of them, really. Although the other guitarist also did a lot of writing. We did a lot of writing together. It was probably like a 60/40 split, with me doing 60% of it. I played guitar and sang in that band. Now the other guitarist is the singer. It will be interesting to see what that's like. They asked me if I wanted to play some of our old stuff with them at the show, but I said no. I haven't played those songs forever, let alone sang them. That band broke up like five years ago. Something like that. So it's been a while. Besides, playing without practicing with the band beforehand would be a disaster waiting to happen. I could have practiced with them, but nah. I'm just going to watch.It's at an all ages venue that doesn't serve alcohol. I'm really glad it's not at a bar. I'm not in a state of mind where I would feel ok going to a bar show. I'm not afraid I'd drink, despite my depression and the alcohol cravings that have been coming and going. It would just make it a lot harder. It would be a really uncomfortable situation, and I can't put myself in a situation like that right now. It would just make me feel worse, and that's something I definitely don't want.
I have a feeling that I'm going to be critical of their renditions of our old songs, whichever ones they play. I won't say anything, of course. But they told me the old songs they're planning on playing, and two of the three are mine, and the third song is one I co-wrote. So even though I told them they could keep using those songs, I still feel like they're mine and I want them to do justice to my songs. So we'll see. It will be cool to hear those songs again.
I'm looking forward to it. I think it will be good for me to get out and do something, and what's better than going to a show? I still keep in touch with these guys. They're not into drugs and they always respected my sobriety when I got sober, so I don't have to worry about that like I would probably have to with other bands I've been in. The band I had with those guys was the last band I was in. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it sometimes, but I just can't do the band thing right now. Going to watch them play will be fun though. I'm sure it will bring on nostalgia, but it will be fun. I'm excited about it. It's nice to be excited about something, even something small, because I haven't felt that way about anything for a while.